Velocipede Verses #9: If Christopher Pike Wanted a Bike

Updated on July 20, 2020
boxelderred profile image

I'm an avid cyclist who has ridden 29,000+ miles over the past seven years. I enjoy sharing the little I know with interested others.


If Christopher Pike Wanted a Bike

In the COVID craze

Quarantine days

A search for ways

To keep the laze

Away a ways

Go ride a bike

Was kinda like

The perfect psych

O-logical hike

Like Captain Pike

In the Trek of old

The lies Spock told

Were wild and bold

Put life on hold

Made Star Fleet scold

Then facts unfold

Of illusions

And collusions

With the big-head Talosians

And confusion

Then suffusion

Of a clear-cut Ambrosian

Way of life

Free of strife

A perfect wife

A home that’s rife

With good

For a man

With a broken body

And only a binary tool

To communicate

In the end

Spock is cleared

Vina and Pike are steered



Perpetual bliss

A remembered kiss

Their only limit

In the eye

Of the mind

On the screen

Filled up by

Huge-cranium guys

It’s a pack of lies

But they’re the white ones

The alright ones

Pike’s not fettered

His life is bettered

And the starship Enterprise

Is on its way

Resuming a mission

That’ll take five years

Preview: "The Menagerie, Part 2," Star Trek Season 1, Episode 12


Can you find one?

The rush

Has made

The biking trade

Like paper to abrade

Our bottoms:


The COVID craze

Quarantine days

Birthed a bike boom

We wanted to zoom

Not sit in our room

And pick lint balls

From the innie

On our belly

Let’s get sweaty

And smelly

A ways away

From the rest

Who’re out to play

On their bikes today

At a distance

That is safe

We ride alone

Far from home

Not fettered

But safe

Still free

Sweet freedom

So good

So sweet

Like fresh buttered

First harvest corn

At social distance

At physical distance

At safe separation


We could stay

All day

Turn away

If indicated

Or needed


In making our lives

Feel new


And fresh

And fun

As we steered

The revered

Two-wheeled steed

Stayed with it



A kind of bliss

Remembered this

From our days

As a child

Riding wild

And everywhere

When the limit

We had

To what we could do

Was in the eye of our mind

And what we could fancy



As we looked at the tire

On the wheel

Going round and round

All over town

And dreamed of the places

We could go

For free

To feel free

Then see

On the screen in our head

The story, the time

Spock saved Pike

Risked death and dying

Made a charade of lying

In the name of trying

And then satisfying

In the end

His desire

To set free

His friend

Like we can do

Like a bike can do

For me and you

If you buy one

And you ride one

You should try one

Can you find one?

The rush

Has made

The biking trade

Like paper to abrade

Our bottoms:


Supplies dwindled down

All around

All over town

Now hear the sound

Of a global pound

Ing of feet

On the street

Walk the beat

Smile and greet

Act so sweet

Hope to meet

Someone with a ride

For sale

At the end of the day

It’s safe to say

The bicycle way

Would be good if you could

But you might

Want to hike

In the woods

Woods are good

Not as good

As bikes, I’d say

But today

There’s no way

To buy one

To get one

They’re like TP

A shortage, you see

Where they manufacture

A fracture

In the chain

Of supply

As demand

Is sky high

A boom

And a bust

At the same time

I’m sorry son

In this 101

Econ class

You fail

Your sales


Supply on hand

That cannot stand

For a business man (or woman)

“Can’t meet demand”

Are the three worst words

Worse than Carlin’s seven

You can’t say

On the telly

You can find them all

On the internet

Of course

But not in the bike shop

On the shelf

On the wall

In the rack

Or in back

Though you might

Hear them right

At the checkout stand:

“Whaddya mean they’re out of %&$#@*& stock?

George Carlin's Seven Words


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    • boxelderred profile imageAUTHOR

      greg cain 

      7 weeks ago from Moscow, Idaho, USA

      Welcome, Ann. Good luck with your search for a bike to ride!

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      2 months ago from SW England

      My fella does the mending etc. and he says it's given up the ghost! Ah well. It might be easier to get bikes here so I'll have a look in the local ads etc. Thanks for the advice though.


    • boxelderred profile imageAUTHOR

      greg cain 

      2 months ago from Moscow, Idaho, USA

      Sha - thanks, my friend. The places you will go, you know, is a phrase that stays on the mind all the time and reminds of Dr. Seuss on the loose. ;) I remember watching those two episodes of Star Trek as a young kid, then watching them again when CBS All Access gave me on-demand ability to watch any and every Star Trek episode I ever wanted. Great fun for a Trekkie like me! Be well, have a good week and don't work too hard!

    • boxelderred profile imageAUTHOR

      greg cain 

      2 months ago from Moscow, Idaho, USA

      John - yes, everyone loves George Carlin! Haha! Yes, as mentioned previously, seems that manufacturing has taken a beating in many quadrants. Time will heal this wound, of course, but right now the shelves are empty and everything is on back order. Lots of folks are digging old bikes out of barns and sheds and garages, fixing them up and giving them a whirl...or putting them up for sale on Craigslist. Anyway, hope you have a good day down under, my friend. And as always, thanks for stopping by.

    • boxelderred profile imageAUTHOR

      greg cain 

      2 months ago from Moscow, Idaho, USA

      Bill - the seven words came out when I was a pup, but I had a friend who had a friend who knew someone who had the record. We all listened eagerly and intently, didn't learn anything we hadn't already heard on the playground. In truth, with George Carlin, it's all about the delivery. Masterful! Have a good week, Bill! And thanks again for stopping by.

    • boxelderred profile imageAUTHOR

      greg cain 

      2 months ago from Moscow, Idaho, USA

      Ann - thanks, my friend, for the wonderful comment. I love the same line both you and Bill pointed out, too. I almost never use the word "fancy" as a verb and I did in those lines. Fun stuff. Anyway, yes, it might be the case that you could/should take your bike to your LBS (local bike shop) and have them give it a tune. You never know, that might be all you need and a new bike might not be your ticket. Anyway, yes, I'm told the shortage is real and has no end in sight. Manufacturing of all kinds is suffering to be honest. Our local car dealership has a nearly vacant lot right now...

      Happy Tuesday, Ann, and thanks for stopping by!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 

      2 months ago from Central Florida

      I love this wild, rambling ride, Box! Your mind was all over the place with this one. Even Dr. Seuss came along.

      This was fun.

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      2 months ago from Queensland Australia

      Lol Greg, what a fun poem. Really, bikes are in short supply? Who would have thought? As for George Carlin’s seven words...haha. What can I say? I am trying to suppress a smile.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 

      2 months ago from Olympia, WA

      "Riding wild

      And everywhere

      When the limit

      We had

      To what we could do

      Was in the eye of our mind"

      Too good, my friend. Too good! And Carlin's seven words...classic comedy and social commentary. Anyone with a Carlin video is a friend of mine.

      Happy riding!

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      2 months ago from SW England

      Great fun! I love the lines,

      'Riding wild

      And everywhere

      When the limit

      We had

      To what we could do

      Was in the eye of our mind

      And what we could fancy...'

      I can feel the pace of the bike and wind in my hair!

      My bike is wallowing in the back of the garage untouched for 3 years because of our move - now I think it's so rusty that I'll have to get a new one. After what you've said, I hope I can find one!



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