Velocipede Verses #9: If Christopher Pike Wanted a Bike
I'm an avid cyclist who has ridden 30,000+ miles over the past seven years. I enjoy sharing the little I know with interested others.
If Christopher Pike Wanted a Bike
In the COVID craze
Quarantine days
A search for ways
To keep the laze
Away a ways
Go ride a bike
Was kinda like
The perfect psych
O-logical hike
Like Captain Pike
In the Trek of old
The lies Spock told
Were wild and bold
Put life on hold
Made Star Fleet scold
Then facts unfold
Of illusions
And collusions
With the big-head Talosians
And confusion
Then suffusion
Of a clear-cut Ambrosian
Way of life
Free of strife
A perfect wife
A home that’s rife
With good
For a man
With a broken body
And only a binary tool
To communicate
In the end
Spock is cleared
Vina and Pike are steered
Together
Forever
Perpetual bliss
A remembered kiss
Their only limit
In the eye
Of the mind
On the screen
Filled up by
Huge-cranium guys
It’s a pack of lies
But they’re the white ones
The alright ones
Pike’s not fettered
His life is bettered
And the starship Enterprise
Is on its way
Resuming a mission
That’ll take five years
Preview: "The Menagerie, Part 2," Star Trek Season 1, Episode 12
Can you find one?
The rush
Has made
The biking trade
Like paper to abrade
Our bottoms:
Scarce
The COVID craze
Quarantine days
Birthed a bike boom
We wanted to zoom
Not sit in our room
And pick lint balls
From the innie
On our belly
Let’s get sweaty
And smelly
A ways away
From the rest
Who’re out to play
On their bikes today
At a distance
That is safe
We ride alone
Far from home
Not fettered
But safe
Still free
Sweet freedom
So good
So sweet
Like fresh buttered
First harvest corn
At social distance
At physical distance
At safe separation
Away
We could stay
All day
Turn away
If indicated
Or needed
Succeeded
In making our lives
Feel new
Renewed
And fresh
And fun
As we steered
The revered
Two-wheeled steed
Stayed with it
Together
Forever
A kind of bliss
Remembered this
From our days
As a child
Riding wild
And everywhere
When the limit
We had
To what we could do
Was in the eye of our mind
And what we could fancy
Imagine
Desire
As we looked at the tire
On the wheel
Going round and round
All over town
And dreamed of the places
We could go
For free
To feel free
Then see
On the screen in our head
The story, the time
Spock saved Pike
Risked death and dying
Made a charade of lying
In the name of trying
And then satisfying
In the end
His desire
To set free
His friend
Like we can do
Like a bike can do
For me and you
If you buy one
And you ride one
You should try one
Can you find one?
The rush
Has made
The biking trade
Like paper to abrade
Our bottoms:
Scarce
Supplies dwindled down
All around
All over town
Now hear the sound
Of a global pound
Ing of feet
On the street
Walk the beat
Smile and greet
Act so sweet
Hope to meet
Someone with a ride
For sale
At the end of the day
It’s safe to say
The bicycle way
Would be good if you could
But you might
Want to hike
In the woods
Woods are good
Not as good
As bikes, I’d say
But today
There’s no way
To buy one
To get one
They’re like TP
A shortage, you see
Where they manufacture
A fracture
In the chain
Of supply
As demand
Is sky high
A boom
And a bust
At the same time
I’m sorry son
In this 101
Econ class
You fail
Your sales
Exceed
Supply on hand
That cannot stand
For a business man (or woman)
“Can’t meet demand”
Are the three worst words
Worse than Carlin’s seven
You can’t say
On the telly
You can find them all
On the internet
Of course
But not in the bike shop
On the shelf
On the wall
In the rack
Or in back
Though you might
Hear them right
At the checkout stand:
“Whaddya mean they’re out of %&$#@*& stock?
George Carlin's Seven Words
Comments
greg cain (author) from Moscow, Idaho, USA on August 01, 2020:
Welcome, Ann. Good luck with your search for a bike to ride!
Ann Carr from SW England on July 21, 2020:
My fella does the mending etc. and he says it's given up the ghost! Ah well. It might be easier to get bikes here so I'll have a look in the local ads etc. Thanks for the advice though.
Ann
greg cain (author) from Moscow, Idaho, USA on July 21, 2020:
Sha - thanks, my friend. The places you will go, you know, is a phrase that stays on the mind all the time and reminds of Dr. Seuss on the loose. ;) I remember watching those two episodes of Star Trek as a young kid, then watching them again when CBS All Access gave me on-demand ability to watch any and every Star Trek episode I ever wanted. Great fun for a Trekkie like me! Be well, have a good week and don't work too hard!
greg cain (author) from Moscow, Idaho, USA on July 21, 2020:
John - yes, everyone loves George Carlin! Haha! Yes, as mentioned previously, seems that manufacturing has taken a beating in many quadrants. Time will heal this wound, of course, but right now the shelves are empty and everything is on back order. Lots of folks are digging old bikes out of barns and sheds and garages, fixing them up and giving them a whirl...or putting them up for sale on Craigslist. Anyway, hope you have a good day down under, my friend. And as always, thanks for stopping by.
greg cain (author) from Moscow, Idaho, USA on July 21, 2020:
Bill - the seven words came out when I was a pup, but I had a friend who had a friend who knew someone who had the record. We all listened eagerly and intently, didn't learn anything we hadn't already heard on the playground. In truth, with George Carlin, it's all about the delivery. Masterful! Have a good week, Bill! And thanks again for stopping by.
greg cain (author) from Moscow, Idaho, USA on July 21, 2020:
Ann - thanks, my friend, for the wonderful comment. I love the same line both you and Bill pointed out, too. I almost never use the word "fancy" as a verb and I did in those lines. Fun stuff. Anyway, yes, it might be the case that you could/should take your bike to your LBS (local bike shop) and have them give it a tune. You never know, that might be all you need and a new bike might not be your ticket. Anyway, yes, I'm told the shortage is real and has no end in sight. Manufacturing of all kinds is suffering to be honest. Our local car dealership has a nearly vacant lot right now...
Happy Tuesday, Ann, and thanks for stopping by!
Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on July 21, 2020:
I love this wild, rambling ride, Box! Your mind was all over the place with this one. Even Dr. Seuss came along.
This was fun.
John Hansen from Queensland Australia on July 21, 2020:
Lol Greg, what a fun poem. Really, bikes are in short supply? Who would have thought? As for George Carlin’s seven words...haha. What can I say? I am trying to suppress a smile.
Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on July 20, 2020:
"Riding wild
And everywhere
When the limit
We had
To what we could do
Was in the eye of our mind"
Too good, my friend. Too good! And Carlin's seven words...classic comedy and social commentary. Anyone with a Carlin video is a friend of mine.
Happy riding!
Ann Carr from SW England on July 20, 2020:
Great fun! I love the lines,
'Riding wild
And everywhere
When the limit
We had
To what we could do
Was in the eye of our mind
And what we could fancy...'
I can feel the pace of the bike and wind in my hair!
My bike is wallowing in the back of the garage untouched for 3 years because of our move - now I think it's so rusty that I'll have to get a new one. After what you've said, I hope I can find one!
Ann