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Velocipede Verses #9: If Christopher Pike Wanted a Bike

I'm an avid cyclist who has ridden 36,000+ miles in the past decade or so. I enjoy sharing the little I know with interested others.


Can you find one?

The rush

Has made

The biking trade

Like paper to abrade

Our bottoms:


If Christopher Pike Wanted a Bike

In the COVID craze

Quarantine days

A search for ways

To keep the laze

Away a ways

Go ride a bike

Was kinda like

The perfect psych

O-logical hike

Like Captain Pike

In the Trek of old

The lies Spock told

Were wild and bold

Put life on hold

Made Star Fleet scold

Then facts unfold

Of illusions

And collusions

With the big-head Talosians

And confusion

Then suffusion

Of a clear-cut Ambrosian

Way of life

Free of strife

A perfect wife

A home that’s rife

With good

For a man

With a broken body

And only a binary tool

To communicate

In the end

Spock is cleared

Vina and Pike are steered



Perpetual bliss

A remembered kiss

Their only limit

In the eye

Of the mind

On the screen

Filled up by

Huge-cranium guys

It’s a pack of lies

But they’re the white ones

The alright ones

Pike’s not fettered

His life is bettered

And the starship Enterprise

Is on its way

Resuming a mission

That’ll take five years

Preview: "The Menagerie, Part 2," Star Trek Season 1, Episode 12


The COVID craze

Quarantine days

Birthed a bike boom

We wanted to zoom

Not sit in our room

And pick lint balls

From the innie

On our belly

Let’s get sweaty

And smelly

A ways away

From the rest

Who’re out to play

On their bikes today

At a distance

That is safe

We ride alone

Far from home

Not fettered

But safe

Still free

Sweet freedom

So good

So sweet

Like fresh buttered

First harvest corn

At social distance

At physical distance

At safe separation


We could stay

All day

Turn away

If indicated

Or needed


In making our lives

Feel new


And fresh

And fun

As we steered

The revered

Two-wheeled steed

Stayed with it



A kind of bliss

Remembered this

From our days

As a child

Riding wild

And everywhere

When the limit

We had

To what we could do

Was in the eye of our mind

And what we could fancy



As we looked at the tire

On the wheel

Going round and round

All over town

And dreamed of the places

We could go

For free

To feel free

Then see

On the screen in our head

The story, the time

Spock saved Pike

Risked death and dying

Made a charade of lying

In the name of trying

And then satisfying

In the end

His desire

To set free

His friend

Like we can do

Like a bike can do

For me and you

If you buy one

And you ride one

You should try one

Can you find one?

The rush

Has made

The biking trade

Like paper to abrade

Our bottoms:


Supplies dwindled down

All around

All over town

Now hear the sound

Of a global pound

Ing of feet

On the street

Walk the beat

Smile and greet

Act so sweet

Hope to meet

Someone with a ride

For sale

At the end of the day

It’s safe to say

The bicycle way

Would be good if you could

But you might

Want to hike

In the woods

Woods are good

Not as good

As bikes, I’d say

But today

There’s no way

To buy one

To get one

They’re like TP

A shortage, you see

Where they manufacture

A fracture

In the chain

Of supply

As demand

Is sky high

A boom

And a bust

At the same time

I’m sorry son

In this 101

Econ class

You fail

Your sales


Supply on hand

That cannot stand

For a business man (or woman)

“Can’t meet demand”

Are the three worst words

Worse than Carlin’s seven

You can’t say

On the telly

You can find them all

On the internet

Of course

But not in the bike shop

On the shelf

On the wall

In the rack

Or in back

Though you might

Hear them right

At the checkout stand:

“Whaddya mean they’re out of %&$#@*& stock?

George Carlin's Seven Words