Velocipede Verses #11: I Had My Helmet On
I'm an avid cyclist who has ridden 36,000+ miles in the past decade or so. I enjoy sharing the little I know with interested others.
What do you think happened to me?
I said
And sat further up in bed
A strange bed, too
I never knew
A bed could have so many machines and wires
And be made of steel and up on tires
Or wheels
Perhaps not enough rubber there to actually hold air
So maybe wheels is a better way to say…
But anyway
I digress
Where’s my watch?
I ask
And she’s sitting right there
Next to me, hands in her hair
Like she might pull it all out
Or she is ready to shout
And then does
You got in a bike wreck!!
And I have your watch
They took it off
For your MRI
And she sighs
And I ask why
She is yelling
And her head jerks around
It’s a different sound
Than I’ve made all day
And now walking my way
Is a nice young man in green
I say hi and offer my name
And he notes that it’s still the same
But he acts like I am not
And he’s gone like a shot
And then there are smiling doctors
And nurses
And a hugging wife
I’ve come back to real life
Home from La La land
I’m ready to stand
But they won’t let me go
They want to know
If my head still aches
And it does
Because
I got in a bike wreck
So much yet to check
Not sure I’m okay
But earlier that day
I hopped on my bike
It was something like
Six-thirty AM
On the road again
For my daily workout
Before work
What danger lurked
Around some corner
We still don’t know today
But some way
In a right-hand turn
I crashed and burned
Road rash on my shoulder
Crumpled up like a manila folder
Which is what my dad
Used to call the Dallas Cowboys
And some other choice words
That shouldn’t be heard
In company mixed
But I was so lucky that twixt
My head and the road
A helmet bore the load
A tremendous smashing force
I might be dead, of course
If I weren’t wearing that thing
Cheaper than a ring
But more valuable by far
It now has two scars
One crack down the middle
Which almost makes me piddle
Thinking about it
Holy poo
And number two
It’s got a hole on the right side
It certainly did collide
With something hard
Not in a yard
But on some asphalt
Or concrete
When two things meet
At high speed and stop
There must have been a pop




That thing’s tight
That sphygmomanometer
My odometer
Read 32
Do you
Think I was going that fast
Do I need a cast?
Nothing broken so no
You’re almost good to go
But man oh man
You might have been a vegetable
Not the kind to eat
But the kind that’s sweet
And friendly
Kind of rhododendry
Nice to be with for a while
Fun and always with a smile
But not lucid
Nor aware
Not really there
But still here
Full of cheer
A shell of your former self
The picture of good health
In middle age
But instead of sage
Your advice
Is more like someone thrice
In decades your junior
Or younger, even
My wife then said
As I lay there in bed:
You weren’t leaving
For work when you should
It was also no good
That you didn’t know where the sugar was
Which is weird because
You make my coffee each day
You know the way
With three sugars and cream
But that didn’t seem
Like enough to be worried
Then I asked the now famous query
Are you going to work?!
And then you turned with a jerk
Asked what’s my job
And I said
You’re Chief of Staff, remember?
Since December
Or January
Around there, anyway
And all you could say
Was
What happened to Pickle?
Who preceded you
And I knew what to do
Told you to sit
And stay
And don’t go away
I’ll get the car keys
Don’t move please
Some strange disease
Has taken your mind
I’m being kind
So not saying
But thinking and praying
I’m wrong
And we headed here
To Tripler Army Medical
About 8 AM
Intent to ask them
To see you and fix you
As I drove the car
Up the hill to get here
You wanted to steer
You knew the way
Enough to say
Turn here
And there
And everywhere
Want me to drive
How can it thrive
That part of your mind
But the others are blind
To who you are
And what you do
And why weren't you in a hurry
To get to your team
The Lucky 13s
And where are the condiments
And why did you scream in the shower this morning
A warning
That something’s wrong
I didn’t heed
And didn’t read
The signs when you came to our room
Woke me up and said with a boom
I rode 32 miles just now
There’s no way no how
You’re crazy I said
Rolled over in bed
Turned away
And you went off to the wet splash
Of hot water on road rash
But who knew
That you
Weren’t you just then
And now again
I wonder how you got home
So glad you didn’t roam
All over Oahu
Seeking a clue
A little while ago
I held your toe, you know
In that tube
‘Cause I couldn’t reach your hand
And you were scared
To go in there
Claustrophobic
I guess
What a mess
And anyway
You’ve had visitors today
They’ve all stopped by
They want to know why
And what
And how
But we don’t know
And so it goes
And that’s how it went
All day long
It’s now 4 PM
And I’m tired
Then she breathed
Almost a sigh
One that I
Am sure
Was of relief
After a day of worry and grief
That must have been long
And arduous
But I’m glad she was
There
And always will be
For me
And we will continue for long
To have fun
Our seasons in the sun
Like Terry Jacks said
In a song in my head
And also
I’m really super glad
I had
My helmet on
© 2020 greg cain