I have never liked stairs, I don't know why but if am to guess I'd say it has something to do with my fear heights.
. That's stairs for me me.
And lately I just happen to have started climbing a flight of stairs am really scared of. I've taken just a few steps and the start seems so way down, the top just seems endless and somehow disappears in the clouds at some point.
I really wanna get to the top, my heart really does want that I just don't know why it feels so wrong, like I don't deserve that at all.
I just have hopes, fantasies, dreams and no clue how it feels. The way down seems easy and simple cause have been there and am pretty familiar and know exactly how it feels. Feels like home, its been home for so long and I honestly have no idea of how anything else feels like or should feel .
The thought of warm hugs and kisses make me wanna keep going up the stairs. Thought of having someone to tell everything and not feel judged too makes me wanna keep going.
But the fact that am not good at it masks all the good thoughts and the fact am new at this is terrifying. .
I think amma keep climbing, something just feels right this time. Feels like if amma loose I'll be able to say at least it was worth it and if I score lord knows I'll start praying on the daily.
Hold my hand, everything about you feels just right. I have no intention of letting go until we get past the clouds even if a very big portion of me still feels like this is all but a dream.
© 2022 Amani Utembu