Under the Might (A Poem in Response to Annart's Description Challenge)

Updated on February 28, 2020
Senoritaa profile image

Rinita is a creative writer, with focus on poetry. She delves into several forms including Haiku/Senryu, Sonnets, Free Verse, and Prose.


Fellow hubber Ann Carr (annart) posted an informative hub on choosing vocabulary in an effective way. At the end of her hub, she posted a challenge for other hubbers to describe any of the three pictures that she included, and weave it into a poem or a story. I chose the picture of "cloisters", and my poem follows.

The Cloisters
The Cloisters | Source

The Poem

I cried out aloud

But no one would hear

No distant echo

No footsteps were near

I stole into the light

Under pillar number seven

This is where he’d wait

Unless barred by heaven

Desperate though I was to meet

I still had time to feel awed

At the marvel of the cloisters

Starting at the west end of the quad

The silence began to scream

As I gazed up at the half domes

Cris-crossing each other

A pattern from a dreamer’s poems

My feet started to give in

Yet I could not feel the pain

I could only feel dwarfed

By the architectural terrain

After what it felt like eons

Of waiting under the might

The ninth pillar from the east end

Bore a tragic sight

I strolled on to get nearer

My footsteps made no sound

Right beyond the carved pillar

A crowd gathered around

I felt myself turn to ice

As I watched the sight in terror

A girl lay, in a pool of blood

On her face, the look of horror

The white marble of the cloisters

Built by a skillful artisan

Centuries ago with foreign tools

Turned into shades of crimson

Voices faded, faces blurred

I stood alone beside her

They uncovered her pale face

I saw myself as in a mirror

They took her away to the grave

I returned to my seventh pillar

Without a wait, I became a mist

And set forth to find my killer

© 2018 Rinita Sen


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, Rajan. Glad you enjoyed the twist. Appreciate your visit.

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 

      2 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar, INDIA.

      An interesting twist at the end. Very gripping narrative,

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, Li-Jen for giving this a read. Glad to know you enjoyed the little twist. The shades of crimson was my favorite part, too.

    • Li-Jen Hew profile image

      Li-Jen Hew 

      2 years ago

      Hey Rinita. Enjoyable poem although tragic ending. I like the shades of crimson and saw myself in the mirror. The persona seemed to be running away from the killer and found out she was dead, interesting twist. Thanks for sharing.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, Rodric. Yes, this does seem to be a common perception, that the story might have continued. I am glad that it could trigger imaginations in your mind, though. I have been myself fond of poems that tell stories ever since I read Alfred Noyes' "The Highwayman" back in high school. Thank you again for visiting.

    • Rodric29 profile image

      Rodric Anthony 

      2 years ago from Peoria, Arizona

      I love poetry that tells a story. I stopped wanting to read it when it seemed as though each poem I read in the past is an enigma wrapped in a mystery. This is tops! This is not a finite story. You could add more and it gives my imagination a whirl.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, Mark, for your kind visit and delightful comment.

    • Mark Tulin profile image

      Mark Tulin 

      2 years ago from Santa Barbara, California

      Like the mystery in this poem. Dream-like and surreal.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      That's better then, manatita. Haha!

    • manatita44 profile image


      2 years ago from london

      No! I was enjoying myself. Lol.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, manatita. Did the end disappoint you? Haha! Thanks again for your visit.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, John. Your visit is much appreciated. Glad I could meet some of the expectations from the challenge. The story was fun to weave, am happy you enjoyed it.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, Chris. It is a great suggestion to continue the story, and maybe I will if I am up for a second part. For Ann's challenge I wanted to keep the entire story at the backdrop of the cloisters. Her search would have to take her away from the scene. Thank you again, really appreciate you giving this a read.

    • manatita44 profile image


      2 years ago from london

      Interesting narrative. Was beginning to get better, more engaging towards the end. Alas!

    • Jodah profile image

      John Hansen 

      2 years ago from Queensland Australia

      Rinita, you certainly met Ann's challenge and more. Your descriptions in this poem were wonderful but the story itself captivating, with that surprise ending. As Chris suggested, the search for the killer could be continued.

    • cam8510 profile image

      Chris Mills 

      2 years ago from Traverse City, MI

      With meter and rhyme you've told a story, and one that could be continued if you wanted to tell us about her search. In any case, this is a creative use of the photo prompt. I love the story.

    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, Ann. I am glad you come up with such challenges. They are real fun to participate in. Glad you enjoyed the little twist and the description.

    • annart profile image

      Ann Carr 

      2 years ago from SW England

      Wow! Superb poem and great descriptions, Rinita. I especially liked 'A pattern from a dreamer’s poems'. The ending was unexpected and therefore a superb twist. Well done!

      Thanks for such a wonderful response to my challenge.


    • Senoritaa profile imageAUTHOR

      Rinita Sen 

      2 years ago

      Thank you, Frank. I am glad you enjoyed them.

    • Frank Atanacio profile image

      Frank Atanacio 

      2 years ago from Shelton

      again, your poetry sends me.. I enjoyed both of them today.. the other one a little more, but still fantastic poetry


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)