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Bald Baby, A Barely Humorous Poem

Although not an expert on babies, Mark Tulin loves writing poetry about them as well as any other topic that piques his interest.

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All Babies Deserve Our Love

Not all babies are created equal. That's a fact of nature. Some are cute, while others are not so adorable. Hopefully, the unattractive ones grow up to be Prince Charming and Princess Beautiful and, at the very least, Joe Average or Plain Jane. In a perfect world, mothers and fathers would be tolerant and understanding of their child's appearance, and not depressed because their baby is not one of the pretty ones.

This is a poem about a rather homely infant and a mother who had a hard time accepting her infant's substandard appearance.

Not all babies are beautiful, but they all deserve our love.

Enjoy "Bald Baby."

Bald Baby, a Poem


A mother cradled a baby in her arms,

and instead of being overjoyed,

she pushed the few strands of his hair forward

until there were nail marks

that skid across the baby’s scalp

like white dividing lines.


Who could blame her?

She wanted his hair to grow as thick

as her neighbor’s front lawn,

and didn’t want her child to resemble her husband

who lost his hair from a bad case of DNA.


She couldn’t stand to see her only child

look like a wizened old man

with a blotchy red pate

and a round, bloated face.


She believed in fairy tales,

that her bald baby

would one day transform

into a giggling, happy newborn

with ringlets of beautiful hair.


She would display her infant proudly,

parading him down their suburban street

and have the church ladies say,

“Oh, isn’t he the most delicious baby

you’ve ever seen?”


Instead, she had to hide

the infant’s barren scalp

behind a white woolen skull cap

and tell everyone in a most convincing way,

“He’s not feeling very well, today.”




© 2019 Mark Tulin

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