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Trauma Bond

Trauma Bond

There are days I feel like

Everything is standing still,

As if the world is moving

Slower than I remember

Before the hurricane destroyed our life.


I’m holding on to confusion and pain

But feel nothing but fear and exhaustion.

I just don‘t want to move forward.

I’m not entirely sure where to go

Or where to start anymore.

I used to just follow you blindly

And without hesitation

Because I didn’t have a solution

To the destruction I left behind me

While I walked through the storm.


I searched for the calm.

My eyes were darkened by the very bond

That broke my soul.

I assumed you knew how

To find solace in the solitude we built for ourselves.


The chains you wrapped around my ribcage

Was unbreakable and fortified by truth.

Just because you knew you could,

You tore me into pieces from the inside out.

You sat me down, shut me up, and threw me down.

This self-hate from knowing my love never faded

Will never leave my heart and soul.

Comments

Grace Peterson (author) from Southern California on February 19, 2021:

I admire your spirtuality and love of God. Thank you for your kind words. I know I had to focus on myself and my own spirituality in order to put myself back together again. I have very few friends and family that support me because they don't quite understand or they don't know how to process the trauma. After times like these, we find out who is truly there for you no matter what, who needs time, and who was never really there to begin with.

Grace Peterson (author) from Southern California on February 19, 2021:

I've tried to help people from my past who I believed tried to help me escape from everything. All I wanted was to give back to them, but everyone kept telling me I wouldn't be able to. I think I can help just by putting my experiences out there and never letting someone take away my voice as a human being again.

Grace Peterson (author) from Southern California on February 19, 2021:

Thank you, Bill! That is all I could hope for. There are so many people suffering from similar situations that say nothing. They hide behind a picture perfect screen because they're afraid of a number of things. At least that's how I was and how I felt back then.

Grace Peterson (author) from Southern California on February 19, 2021:

I told a friend recently that I stopped caring who reads my work or if anyone would notice it. I decided to start posting again because I believe people who need it most will read it if I put it out there. If it could open the eyes of someone in the same situation and help them escape, that's all I could hope for. I hope they're able to see it isn't okay and they deserve better. I appreciate your kind words.

Grace Peterson (author) from Southern California on February 19, 2021:

Thank you. I've been told many times that I was the supply for a narcassist. I don't know for sure if that was the case despite the facts, but I still hope it isn't true. I would like to believe in his success in life (from a distance).

Grace Peterson (author) from Southern California on February 19, 2021:

Thank you. I appreciate the compliment.

Misbah from The Planet Earth on February 19, 2021:

Being a woman I can feel your pain of being betrayed by someone you love so much

I myself have experienced the true colors of relationship, same was the situation for me, i never wanted to move forward, like stucked in somewhere badly

There were friends and my family who helped me alot to come out of the trauma

I put my trust on my Lord

I prayed and find out that I am running after someone who is not mine..

The one who will be for me will remain there. I mean if u love someone you have to go with them through out the way.

I believe People who leave your hand in midway are blessings from God because they are the reason Which makes you get closer to The God.

Only love is the love of God rest can be affection or attraction

But love is the word that can only be used for the love of God

gyanendra mocktan from Kathmandu,Nepal on February 19, 2021:

Grace, You have shared your past with courage. So that strangers will learn a lesson from it. Thank you.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on February 19, 2021:

It takes courage and strength to write about deeply personal experiences. Well done! I suspect your article will help someone else experiencing similar pain.

I've been there!

Ravi Rajan from Mumbai on February 18, 2021:

Grace, You have highlighted the abuse you experienced in a very touching way and the imagery almost appears before my eyes through your poignant words. Thanks for sharing your deepest personal experience.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on February 18, 2021:

You describe the hurt left behind from being in a relationship with a narcissist.

They make you feel great. On top of the world until they dont.

Then there is nothing yiu can do right.

Your mind becomes cluttered with confusion, but it is not you.

There is no reason to feel bad. You treated someone with love...you are not responsible for the treatment you receive back.

No self regret for love not fading...it is natural. You can feel. You have a heart.

He obviously does not.

Great write

John Hansen from Queensland Australia on February 18, 2021:

A well-written poem, as is Lost in Trickery With Trust. thank you for sharing.