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Through the Eyes of an Addict Poetry

A writer for ten years with. a severe case of wanderlust. She spends most her time with her head in the clouds.

through-the-eyes-of-am-addict-poetry

Whisper of the Night

Why does the night whisper at 3 am,

A soft chatter, barely heard?

I’m searching for answers in the wind.

I don’t dare speak a word

***************************

If only, I could hear what it had to say.

The voice in my head drowns it out.

That damn voice just won’t go away,

and sometimes it’s awfuly loud.

**************************

It reminds me where I am,

and just how far I fell.


It tells me that I’m stuck here again.

I’m stuck three feet from hell.

************************

I want to hear pretty lies.

Tell me we’re going to make it right.

Please, just look into my eyes,

and tell me I have the strength to fight.

***************************

My peices no longer fit.

I put them back together wrong.

I fell into the deepest pit.

and some of my peices are long gone.

**************************

Smashed into grains of salt,

I watched them float away.

I didn’t know where to start,

stitching the peices together that day.

***************************

I just want to float away too.

open my eyes, and end this nightmare.

Float back to a day, I once knew.

When my smile wasn’t forced, and life was fair

through-the-eyes-of-am-addict-poetry

Up Shit Creek

Yesterday, I stood so tall,

I was so proud.

I thought I knew it all.

I believed, I'd never be without.


Today, I am not the same;

a shell, I have become.

Head down, in shame,

I'm not the only one.


I sneak a peek,

in your direction.

You're tired, of shit creek.

I'm tired of this friction.


Yesterday, your smile touched my soul.

You were all things, you felt like home.

Today we're prisoners of our destructive ways.

If we don't get out soon, we'll never be the same.


I watched as the only home,

I've ever known,

burst into flames,

and the ashes blew away.


My tears will not quench the fire.

It is far too late, to save it now.

As you confess, you ruined me,

I can't help, but to agree.


I ruined you too.

What was once, my fairytale,

has turned into a living hell.

Those damn flames, took away the best of you.


Now your eyes are empty.

Your smile's forced.

There's something about me,

which seems to bring out the worst.


Maybe my dreams, are just too big.

Maybe they're weighing us down

I have nothing left to give.

I'm just a clown, with a broken crown.

through-the-eyes-of-am-addict-poetry

Chasing Shadows

I am the invisible shadow,

concealed by darkness.

I am the corruption,

Deep within an angel's soul.

When you look at me,

You see, what I want you to see.

I never wanted you to see me.

I am the pretty lies,

sliding from the serpents mouth.

I am that one last hit,

You need, but never talk about.



See, you have your secrets too.

We are now the same.

You were a breath of fresh air;

Something different,

within an ocean of plastic smiles.

You were honest to a fault,

True to your word,

and smart.



Now we are the same.

You are me, and I am you.

We dance the dance,

Only lover's know

All through the night.



You are no longer different.

Your eyes are dead and distant.

And now your lies?

Seamless works of art.

And who has time to be smart,

When you are chasing shadows,

In the dark?



We are now the same.

You gave me your soul.

I took control.

It was my beautiful prize.

I never want to let you go.

I squeezed so hard,

The light disappeared

from your eyes.



Oh well

We are now the same.

You are me, and I am you.

Both living in hell,

Never a word

I now hate you,

as much as I hate me.






through-the-eyes-of-am-addict-poetry

One More Last Time

Just one more time,

just to say goodbye

I say, like it's an old friend

But the sad truth is,

usually, friends just disappear,

from your life.


Some may change,

Others die.

The point is the same.

There is rarely time for goodbye.


Why then do I honor

this vile substance,

Which has ruined you?

No way in hell, will it get me too.


It sure was close this time.

Too close for comfort.

I danced on the ledge

on the edge

of a razor blade.


The one I use,

to make a line.

Chop it, Sniff it, smoke it too.

Fuck, I wasn't gonna do it this time.


You smile, you knew I'd be back.

I'm just not strong enough.

Your smile has me taken aback

That is not the smile, in which I fell in love.


The truth is Crystal clear.

I just don't want to admit.

I shiver in fear.

My goodbye is not for the shit.

It is you, my love, to whom I say goodbye,

a hundred thousand, one more times.


The day I realize, it will never be like before.

I will finally have the courage to walk out that door.

You sit and wait, smiling you're dead smile at the floor.

Never knowing I won't be back, I wont need you anymore.



through-the-eyes-of-am-addict-poetry

Far Too Gone

Alone and in the dark,

that's how she likes to release the pain.

No one even suspects,

the sea of emotion, she keeps locked away.

On the surface calm and collected,

while inside a storm is afoot.

Laugh, smile, repeat.

She has mastered her part.

And her performance?

Quite a work of art.

It is So good sometimes,

she even convinces herself.

Every day she drifts,

further into her madness,

until it is imposible,

to conceal her sadnnes.

The tears she could no longer hide,

seem to take everyone by surprise

Alas, by the time anyone notices,

something was terribly wrong,

It is far too late,

she is far too gone.

© 2019 Lisa Chronister

Comments

James M on April 09, 2020:

Tears are sweat for the soul.

Lisa Chronister (author) from Florida on November 18, 2019:

Thank you, Ruby, for your kind comment, and always taking the time to read and comment on my writing! You are very much appreciated.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on November 18, 2019:

This is so sad, getting off drugs must be hell. Your poetry is vividly clear of the attempts and failures. Touching to say the least.