Thoughts Porn

Updated on January 18, 2018
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Thought writer. Partially pessismistic. I write what plays on my mind. I love what I do.

SHE

There’s something in her eyes
I know they wouldnt lie
I see despair and rage
Burning beneath those gaze
As she said it didnt hurt
I can feel the pain she felt
I can feel the fire in her mind
The fire to take revenge
Ignited by the false hopes they left
Ignited by the broken promises
She knows her time will come
To return something she received
But much more harder, much more painful
For she will never forget, will never forgive

Where shoud I be?

Your words cut my throat
Dissected my heart, tore it into pieces
Nothing can mend nor can put this back
Im dead but still breathing, dying again,
again and again
No words to speak, just shedding blood
Loosing hope, chasing memories
Broken promises, illusion of us
Im not okay and you are digging my grave
Put me to rest, put me to sleep
never to wake up, never to dream
just bury me alive, bury me so deep
Deep enough that i can no longer breath

Astral

If I could walk in the realm where our souls could meet
I would do it everyday even if it will cost me my life
’cause im already dying inside without you here
The distance between us kills me quick
The world where there is just you and me
Acompanied with the ghost of our broken dreams
In between life and death, lets sleep again and again and be together on our lucid dreams

I dont want to wake up in this landscape of time
Waking up is meaningless if your heart is not next to mine
The long wait will soon be over
I hope it will end soon, soon
For now lets just kill ourselves to sleep
To walk on the realm where our souls could meet.

Time

Time passes so slow, and sometimes so fast
Time flies away and never comes back
But memories it make will stay, forever it will
For i can never forget the time it gave me tears

Time cant be stopped nor can be paused
It cant be touched and cant be dodged
It gives sensation and all the feels
The joy, the hurt and the wound it bring

Time heals but also kills
Time gives but also steals
Time to time i need more time
To define what is time for my curious mind

End

Heart is broken, bruised and swollen
Promises were just words spoken
Spoken then forgotten
A long story that meets the end
New journey to take, nowhere to go
Isolated in the place we used to call home
Weak but sober, hurt me harder
Knees are trembling, shaking, dying
I lay my self to sleep
Never to wake up
Forever dream, repose
See you in the afterlife
Wish we could still meet halfway here

Run Away

I ran away from my mistakes
And i let it loose
I didnt even turn my head and look back
I only thought of myself, Selfish
Hurt the one who love me most
No balls to face the truth
Reality bites really hard
And now im haunted by my own ghost
Crawling in my head, not leaving my thoughts
The thoughts of what i left behind
I can never correct what was already wrong
All i can do is to move on
Move forward and regret the things of the past
Ill be forever damned in the memories of us

Left Alone

Staring at the ceiling as i bleed my self to death
I hope when i wake up ill be out of this world
Dont care if it is heaven or hell,
I just want to end the pain i felt

The sun is setting down, my eyes are closing, all i see is the memories of us, everything we shared in the past
And now its just all part of yesterday
Washed away like the sand in the shore
I cannot comprehend, i cannot even move
You left me hanging alone

Is it unfair that i got my reasons too?
Living without you is like dying everyday
I can feel the pain but i can never escape
In this world full of lies, the truth hides behind these fake smiles

Us, Over

Our time has come to an end
The crayons that used to color our life are now broken into pieces
nothing will suffice to mend this shattered promises we vowed to last
Time kill us slowly
And for the last time i would like to tell
this turn of events surely hurt as hell
Will I survive the mess im in? maybe i will be stuck in this loop for the rest of my life

I look up the stars, and the sky starts to cry
i beg for the moon’s forgiveness, the clouds turn to gray
the sun made my eyes shut, then i start to wonder
there is no such thing as infinity, same thing that there is no forever after

Beautiful disguise of smile is my armor to make it through the day of suffering
you are my sweetest downfall and the taste of bitter sweet ending
nothing can match what we had started
but i found my self crumbling down together with what we built.

Soledad

The pain of suffering makes me feel alive
I bled inside out and catched my breath
Im still in this realm of sorrows and tears
Forever trap in the misery you left
The scars that was embroidered to my very heart, is the proof that, for you, im still not enough

I cannot be someone you want me to be
Dont take me from me
Still you make me weak
I need to save me from me
Still stuck with the thoughts of you
Oh baby you want me to feel so blue

Im drastically loosing my hopes
Cannot withstand the punches of time, im taking all the blows
One more kick and surely ill be knocked down
There is no good thing in goodbye, i wish everyday i just died.

Limbo

I was left here, in the abyss of tears
I drown myself to death, knowing no one will save me
This never ending pain that cause too much damage
I cant take it anymore, one more blow and ill be in this loop forever

In the middle of life and death
In between love and hurt
I am trap and can not get up
I am stuck, cannot move on with the past

Shits got real, never been this hard before
The first time I broke down, I lie unconcious on the floor
This is the part where i want to get out
But i cant find my way out, cant find my way out.

Above Me

No more sleepless nights, but it turned to being restless, no more smiles to show, now its tears to shred
We’re falling and failing fast, nothing can slow this down, im down to the ground
im down below, you are standing above me
with no remorse to show, looking with no mercy
This is a neverending pit, going down, no way out, no way up, going down
Sinking alone in this shallow reasons you’ve left
drowning in my own feeling of guilt
is it me who was wrong or is it me who was wronged?
spiraling down with the thought of loosing you
my hopes are shattered like a mirror punched in the wall. all of our dreams were scattered in the clouds of solemn memories
nothing can save me now
only you could rise me up but you chose to bring me down

Rest in Misery

I made up my mind, all the lessons were learned. Life goes on like the river flowing to the sea. I cant force you to stay so im pushing you away. I cant hold you back so i let go and let you fall. This time ill be stronger than i was when im with you. Now is the perfect chance, the perfect time, Ill say this just once, my feelings for you were laid to rest.

Nothing can change my decision, nor will change my ways. I found myself tired and im going away. No, you cant save me now, i will save myself. No need to pull me back, i cut the ties, i loose the grip, i slice the rope, papers reaped.

Oh how happy we were before, you threw it all away. Dump all the memories, I will bury them today, so long goodnight, misery awaits, Dont call me anymore, i dont want to here your voice. Sad to say we’re done. My feelings for you were laid to rest

Paranoia

When your thoughts take over your mind

It is the end of the line on thinking straight

There are times you cant contain the hurt
It burst then turns into tears
You’re killed by your own ghost
It haunts you down, you cant escape
You wish to end the misery in your mind
But the fragments of your playful thought stays
You cant decide for yourself, dont know what to believe in
True or false, right or wrong, it doesnt matter anymore
‘Cause what matters now is that you cant hold yourself and you’re down to the ground
Over thinking kills, thinking over it kills you for the second time

Untitled

Words spoken, actions taken
Promises were broken,
Forever’s a myth, a legend
Nothing lasts, fading fast
Change is permanent, not you nor I
We live to tell the tales then we all die

Love’s a mess, it’s hard to guess
Killing our minds, making us blind
it’s a poison, we’re taking without precaution
We fall, we rise, we go up and high
Then again we fall a thousand times
All were gone, left behind

We are vulnerable, destructable
Easy to fall, to bleed, to stumble
Points were taken, unsure, uncertain
Filled with words, words that cut
Words better left unsaid, unheard
Life’s short not long, live, be strong

Aurora

i gazed at your smile like looking at the stars, thinking how beautiful you are, shining bright in the darkest night. and in the darkest of days, you outstand and always showing your ways, how you walk, how you laugh, how you make me fall in love. but everything is uncertain and unsure, because when i close my eyes, i feel that you started to disappear like the northern lights.

Every night i look up in the sky
Hoping to see your rays of light
wishing you wouldnt disappear
please dont leave me here
but your shining light will never be a permanent sight
coz its slowly fading all through the night

How wonderful my world could be
if you could stay forever with me
but i know i cant reach the impossible
i can see you but i cant grasp your face, there is no way i can feel your embrace
you are the light, i am the darkness, your so close yet so far.

© 2018 Jan Nero Piopongco

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      Jon 4 weeks ago

      Heart breaks at its finest

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