This Happened the Night Before Christmas

Updated on December 21, 2018
clivewilliams profile image

I have been writing poetry, fiction and short stories for many years and have completed a book of poems. I also enjoy comedy writing.

The Night Before Christmas
The Night Before Christmas

It was 11PM on Christmas Eve

What happened you would not believe

I saw a man in a red suite opened our door

Pulled a gun and told us lay flat on the floor

I asked him why he was robbing on a special night like this

He told me to shut up and slapped me on my wrist

He went into the kitchen and poured out a glass of milk

Then ate all the chocolate chip cookies and threw the plate in the sink


He ripped off the stockings from the fireplace and placed them on his stinky feet.

By this time the kids started to weep.

They had placed them there for Santa to place gifts.

But now this thief had destroyed that in a whiff.

He sat on the couch, mumbling to himself.

About getting back at Santa, this was his revenge.

He would spoil Christmas for everyone before Santa reached.

I tried to converse but he would not let me speak.


Then a thud was heard on the roof that sounded like a sleigh

And indeed it was Santa’s reindeer at play

Then like magic he popped out of the fire place

Only to find a gun stuck in his face

The thief demanded Santa hand over the gift bag, but Santa only said Ho Ho Ho.

By this time the thief was upset and began losing his mojo

“Little mickey, is that you all grown up?” Santa Said

“Why are you being naughty and have we all held up?”


“You never brought me that toy train 26 years ago.”

I stood there waiting for years with my feet freezing in the snow.”

I vowed to get my revenge by destroying your precious holiday

Now here you are and you are going to pay.

Santa dipped into his bag and pulled out a wooden train with the name Mickey Jones

The thief then dropped the gun on the floor

"Oh My God, this is all I ever wanted, a wooden toy train.

Now I feel no more Christmas pain."


Then the police car drove up and slapped handcuffs on him

Took away his train and made his life dim.

Then Santa laughed and said, “Gotcha!”

Christmas was not going to be spoiled because of some rotten kid’s desire

Now Mickey Jones is in Jail and his life soon will expire.

© 2018 Clive Williams

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      11 months ago from Jamaica

      Thanks Eric.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      11 months ago from Jamaica

      Thanks Pam

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 

      11 months ago from Sunny Florida

      This poem was sure fun to read. Christmas humor is great.

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 

      11 months ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Another home run my friend. Just fantastic. I was hoping instead of being arrested they sent the furious nuns instead.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      11 months ago from Jamaica

      Thats right Flourish. But Santa Knows best.

    • clivewilliams profile imageAUTHOR

      Clive Williams 

      11 months ago from Jamaica

      Wow Pat. At least Christmas was saved.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 

      11 months ago from USA

      Those bad kids always try to spoil it for the rest of us!

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      11 months ago from North Central Florida

      O my....a different twist on an old familiar tale. On Christmas eve one year a similar true event happened to my daughter and me. Our packages were all wrapped and under the tree and we went out to get a bite to eat. When we returned we found our door ajar and our dog cowering after having been struck furiously with some instrument...which broke our hearts. We raced to the nearest phone (no cell phones then) and called the police. No one ever caught the thieves who took all of our packages, our new microwave, and our video cassette player. Of course there was no extra money to replace those gifts. But alas Christmas was not ruined. A teacher of my daughter brought gifts and stockings on Christmas morning....the true meaning of Christmas shone through. Hoping your Christmas is filled with only wonderful experiences. Angels are headed your way this morning ps.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, letterpile.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://letterpile.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)