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This Happened the Night Before Christmas

I have been writing poetry, fiction and short stories for many years and have completed a book of poems. I also enjoy comedy writing.

The Night Before Christmas

The Night Before Christmas

It was 11PM on Christmas Eve

What happened you would not believe

I saw a man in a red suite opened our door

Pulled a gun and told us lay flat on the floor

I asked him why he was robbing on a special night like this

He told me to shut up and slapped me on my wrist

He went into the kitchen and poured out a glass of milk

Then ate all the chocolate chip cookies and threw the plate in the sink

He ripped off the stockings from the fireplace and placed them on his stinky feet.

By this time the kids started to weep.

They had placed them there for Santa to place gifts.

But now this thief had destroyed that in a whiff.

He sat on the couch, mumbling to himself.

About getting back at Santa, this was his revenge.

He would spoil Christmas for everyone before Santa reached.

I tried to converse but he would not let me speak.

Then a thud was heard on the roof that sounded like a sleigh

And indeed it was Santa’s reindeer at play

Then like magic he popped out of the fire place

Only to find a gun stuck in his face

The thief demanded Santa hand over the gift bag, but Santa only said Ho Ho Ho.

By this time the thief was upset and began losing his mojo

“Little mickey, is that you all grown up?” Santa Said

“Why are you being naughty and have we all held up?”

“You never brought me that toy train 26 years ago.”

I stood there waiting for years with my feet freezing in the snow.”

I vowed to get my revenge by destroying your precious holiday

Now here you are and you are going to pay.

Santa dipped into his bag and pulled out a wooden train with the name Mickey Jones

The thief then dropped the gun on the floor

"Oh My God, this is all I ever wanted, a wooden toy train.

Now I feel no more Christmas pain."

Then the police car drove up and slapped handcuffs on him

Took away his train and made his life dim.

Then Santa laughed and said, “Gotcha!”

Christmas was not going to be spoiled because of some rotten kid’s desire

Now Mickey Jones is in Jail and his life soon will expire.

© 2018 Clive Williams


Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on December 21, 2018:

Thanks Eric.

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on December 21, 2018:

Thanks Pam

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on December 21, 2018:

This poem was sure fun to read. Christmas humor is great.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on December 21, 2018:

Another home run my friend. Just fantastic. I was hoping instead of being arrested they sent the furious nuns instead.

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on December 19, 2018:

Thats right Flourish. But Santa Knows best.

Clive Williams (author) from Jamaica on December 19, 2018:

Wow Pat. At least Christmas was saved.

FlourishAnyway from USA on December 19, 2018:

Those bad kids always try to spoil it for the rest of us!

Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on December 19, 2018:

O my....a different twist on an old familiar tale. On Christmas eve one year a similar true event happened to my daughter and me. Our packages were all wrapped and under the tree and we went out to get a bite to eat. When we returned we found our door ajar and our dog cowering after having been struck furiously with some instrument...which broke our hearts. We raced to the nearest phone (no cell phones then) and called the police. No one ever caught the thieves who took all of our packages, our new microwave, and our video cassette player. Of course there was no extra money to replace those gifts. But alas Christmas was not ruined. A teacher of my daughter brought gifts and stockings on Christmas morning....the true meaning of Christmas shone through. Hoping your Christmas is filled with only wonderful experiences. Angels are headed your way this morning ps.

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