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There Once Was a Man (and a Woman) From Nantucket

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I have been writing off and on for many years. Now that I'm retired from the work force, I'm dedicating more time to the craft I enjoy.

There Once Was a Man (and a Woman) From Nantucket

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who said the report of his endowment was an exaggeration
Like a cable from Mark Twain
Similar vein
And furthermore, in any case, if such reports were true I’d be dizzy and fainting all the time
He said
Then fainted

So there once was man from Nantucket
Who said there’s a hole in the bucket
Dear Liza then said,
There’s a hole in your head
And the man thought, Ooh, I need to change that other poem

There once was a man from Nantucket
He drove every week to Pawtucket
The Pawsox are playin’
His notes kept on sayin’
But Dear Liza knew better than that

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who’d no earthly idea how his luck it
Was fast running out
Because if his snout
Were made of wood it’d be growing like old Pinoch’

There once was a man from Nantucket
Who tugged on a nose hair to pluck it
It came free with ease
He let out a sneeze
And he wasn’t wearing a mask but he was alone in his car on his way to Pawtucket so no harm no foul, really

Let’s get back to the girl from Nantucket
Dear Liza who said you’re a schmuck it
Is quite plain to see
That you’re lying to me
The Pawsox have moved over to Worcester

There once was a man from Pawtucket
Moved there with his wife from Nantucket
They drive by McCoy
Which gives her great joy
Because all they’re doing there this season is serving dinner at socially-distanced tables located in the outfield

There once was a man from Pawtucket
Wrote a note to Dear Liza and stuck it
On the front of the fridge
And he fibbed just a smidge
Said he was going over to Worcester to watch the WooSox play now that the PawSox changed their name and their town and their stadium

Official WooSox Logo Reveal

There once was a man from Pawtucket
His clothing he often would shuck it
In places in Worcester
Like a Rhode Island rooster
Kind of like Foghorn Leghorn, who famously once said there’s something kind of yeeeeee about a kid that’s never played baseball

There once was a man from Pawtucket
He originally came from Nantucket
Caught cheatin’ again
Dear Liza did him in
Apparently, he didn’t realize the WooSox won’t start until 2021; indeed, Polar Park is still under construction, complete with a mini-Green Monster; guess he’ll never see them play now…

Dear Liza alone in Pawtucket
Was out on the town and her truck it
Broke down on the road
Stopped a lorry with load
And asked the driver if he ever fainted; and also, are you into baseball?

Never Played Baseball

© 2020 greg cain

Comments

greg cain (author) from Moscow, Idaho, USA on July 19, 2020:

Thank you for stopping by to give it a read, William. I do appreciate that. Hope you have a great Sunday. Be well and be safe.

William Kovacic from Pleasant Gap, PA on July 19, 2020:

Thanks for the fun poetry, Greg.

greg cain (author) from Moscow, Idaho, USA on July 15, 2020:

Thanks, Eric. Very fun piece to put together, too. WooSox is kind of a crazy name, but not much worse than PawSox, which it was in Pawtucket since 1970. An interesting read is the article easily found online at top the google search result for "contender names for the WooSox". There were 215 monikers under consideration! I might have to do a sequel article to this article on that article and the 215 other names that appeared in that article. Happy Wednesday, Sir Eric. Enjoy the rest of your week.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on July 15, 2020:

Laughing and enjoying the oh so not subtle social commentary. Hmm. Woo Socks smacks of Chinese entanglement here.

You are a master at humor.

thanks

greg cain (author) from Moscow, Idaho, USA on July 14, 2020:

Right! Haha! This is supposed to be a light-hearted tale only mildly reminiscent of that original guy from Nantucket. And yes, my own bride had never heard it, either, and when I shared it with her (I had to look it up online to remember it all, of course) she stared at me in mock horror. That said, I still hope to take a trip back east one day to see the WooSox play. Big change for that part of the country losing PawSox baseball. Anyway, when normal gets to looking more normal, my wife and I just might do that. Thanks for giving it a look-see, Bill. Have a great day, my friend.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on July 13, 2020:

I'm not sure I'm laughing hard at your limericks or at the original limerick, which I learned in high school many years ago. It is so gross it can't be said in most company. I told it to my wife once and she cringed. Probably best it stay hidden in the recesses of my mind.