The Valentine Pick-Up Line

Author:
JourneyHolm
Updated date:
Feb 14, 2018

Luke Holm earned bachelor degrees in English and Philosophy from NIU. He is a middle school teacher and a creative writer.

Step 1: Pretend to Be Waiting in Line

Excuse me, Miss, have you the time?
I’m waiting for my Valentine.
We’re set to dine around nine,
so I thought I’d come and wait in line.

“It’s 8:47.”

O, wow. You are divine.
To be so fine should be a crime.
With eyes that shine and lips like wine,
you could model Calvin Klein.

Step 2: Act Concerned, Yet Pursue Blindly

I don’t mean to be a porcupine,
poking around in what’s not mine,
but where’s your boy? It’s not that mime?
If I were him, I’d build a shrine.

“I’m not interested.”

And just to refine your mind,
I come from a very respectable bloodline.
But I can’t lie, your hemline has me on cloud nine.
If I should go, just give a sign.

“I already did.”

You’re a feisty feline,
but one I find of perfect design.
How about you be my V-tine
and we go dine? Don’t decline.

Step 3: Find a New Line

“Listen! You're a dime a dozen, cousin.
Are you Frankenstein,
because you're out of your mind
if you think you getting a piece of this prime.

Tomorrow’s headlines be buzzin',
‘Heard Through Grapevine:
Swine’s Valentine Line Land Mines.’
How’s that for an end rhyme? Bye!”