The Valentine Pick-Up Line

Updated on February 14, 2018
Luke Holm profile image

Luke works as a middle school English, ELD, social justice, and mindfulness teacher in the sanctuary city, San Jose, CA.

Step 1: Pretend to Be Waiting in Line

Excuse me, Miss, have you the time?
I’m waiting for my Valentine.
We’re set to dine around nine,
so I thought I’d come and wait in line.

“It’s 8:47.”

O, wow. You are divine.
To be so fine should be a crime.
With eyes that shine and lips like wine,
you could model Calvin Klein.


Step 2: Act Concerned, Yet Pursue Blindly

I don’t mean to be a porcupine,
poking around in what’s not mine,
but where’s your boy? It’s not that mime?
If I were him, I’d build a shrine.

“I’m not interested.”

And just to refine your mind,
I come from a very respectable bloodline.
But I can’t lie, your hemline has me on cloud nine.
If I should go, just give a sign.

“I already did.”

You’re a feisty feline,
but one I find of perfect design.
How about you be my V-tine
and we go dine? Don’t decline.


Step 3: Find a New Line

“Listen! You're a dime a dozen, cousin.
Are you Frankenstein,
because you're out of your mind
if you think you getting a piece of this prime.

Tomorrow’s headlines be buzzin',
‘Heard Through Grapevine:
Swine’s Valentine Line Land Mines.’
How’s that for an end rhyme? Bye!”

Questions & Answers

    © 2018 JourneyHolm


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      • Luke Holm profile imageAUTHOR


        12 months ago

        Robin, I'm glad you found this poem entertaining. It was certainly fun to imagine and write :)

      • RobinReenters profile image

        Robin Carretti 

        12 months ago from Hightstown

        Really uniquely written I loved your creative words along the lines That Valentin pick up so masterly touched up like a heart cruel to be kind this piece of work kept me entertained my heart got touched

      • Luke Holm profile imageAUTHOR


        12 months ago

        Ha, I'm glad you enjoyed it, Charu! Happy Valentine's Day :)

      • Charu Bhatnagar profile image

        Charu Bhatnagar 

        12 months ago from India

        Ha ha, this was pure joy to read.

      • Luke Holm profile imageAUTHOR


        12 months ago

        Hehe, thanks John. I had fun writing this one :)

      • Jodah profile image

        John Hansen 

        12 months ago from Queensland Australia

        Funny and unique, Luke. I enjoyed this.


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