The author wants to be selective with her word choice so that she does not end up hurting someone.
I did it again
I said yes,
when clearly my mind was saying a gigantic No,
I could have told you sooner,
but hope you accept my delayed confession,
My guardian angel,
I hoped you lived your life to the fullest,
I wished to meet you when you were about to reach your end.
I cherished you,
hate to admit it but used to hate you,
why did you have to go so soon,
did not get to meet you ,
I warned you but did not stop you,
I regret I remember you never took it seriously
I wish you did.