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The Waiting Game: A Poem

Tears welled up in my eyes

As if it were their natural disposition

On a mission

To cease existence

Arms yearning to be painted crimson

Trapped in a suicidal prison

All because you left

Death:

My only companion

Thoughts telling me to down these pills

Jump off a canyon

That would be so grand

For absolutely no one

I can’t do it

I know this is no solution

To quell the pollution

That’s running rampant in my mind

Time

Is the only cure

Yet I don’t know how much more I can endure

You’re

The best person I have yet to meet

Elite

Were all your qualities

Honestly

The normal ones and the oddities

Modesty

Was your go to

But I’ll still hype you up

For you were my all and everything

But time split us

And I miss us

I miss you

Shit, you are always in my head

During the day and when I’m in bed

It’s like love led

Me down a cliff

And I landed on my heart

Shattered art

Now look what’s left

You’re doing fine

Happy with another guy

And I’m a mess

Broken, lonely, and depressed

Speaking about natural disposition

Maybe I should take it upon myself

And use my intuition

And make better decisions

And listen

To others

When they say don’t fall in love

Because maybe I’m the problem

Is it my general presentation

Maybe poor communication

Is it that I avoid complications

And am prone to humiliation

Or possibly it’s my concentration

Too eager to find the one

And my new “love” becomes the sun

In my own personal solar system

This pain has brought new wisdom

But I wonder

Am I to never love again?

Am I destined to live the lonely life

Depression be my only wife

A matrimony filled with strife

I would rather take up the knife

I find my savior in time

A force neither cruel or sublime

Just is

Fine time,

I’ll trust that you’ll lead the stars to align

For me to find someone to be theirs

And them to be mine

I’ll play the waiting game

And work on staying sane

Love myself and my flaws

Pick myself up when I fall

And I believe that’s what we should all do


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