The Unnaturally Restless Medicated Vagabond of the East Coast

Puzzled by the transformation from a razor sharp focused operator

Into an antsy toddler who had too many Snickers bars

Legs felt like they were saturated by rapidly moving spiders

Eager to get to the top of your head; even though you brush them off

Always returning back tenfold and wanting to drive you crazy

Hence the need to move around when watching Modern Family reruns

Caused other couch dwellers to pop motion sickness pills like mints

Wondered when the need to always be moving around

Suddenly came into the foreground of this 24 hour narrative

A constant moving target wherever they're seated or standing

Not worried about getting pinned down by a deer hunter

Or anything in that bizarre vein of illogical habit

Hard to describe this feeling not entirely sure what it's based on

Maybe, a touch of anxiety about not being up to complete snuff

As if your internal mainframe needed to be recalibrated

By the smallest fraction of a degree to get back to peak performance

All of the subscribers understand that it takes time to fix the glitch

Creator not the most patient of users in regular circumstances

Considered the fact that this possibly self imposed design flaw

Either wasn't really there or was likely a permanent factor

Would have to deal with the former or the latter

Adjusted to the likely temporary calm before the spiders returned

Watched all movies and television programs in 20 minute spurts

Will keep following the doctor's orders until not necessary anymore

Wanted to find a middle ground between cool as cucumber

And being an extra on The Walking Dead or its spin-off show

Can't be half asleep behind the wheel of a car or while on the job

Need health insurance and a paycheck in order to get better

Unemployed once before; not eager to go back to that ever again

Glad that the weekend has returned, but not that Monday was looming

Closer than a Kardashian to their multitudes of reality show based millions

Entered the debate why some people had the Midas touch in success

While others barely scraped by with the barest of minimums

Unable to answer that age old question; latest 20 minute spurt is up

Time to shake the imaginary spiders off the legs once again

This should be the new fitness craze for people who have ants in their pants

It would be a big hit; or a good online video.