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The Ultimate Escape

TaJuan is an aspiring writer hoping to gain experience and growth through publishing passionate works, like this one, online for the world.

the-ultimate-escape

Silent was the world,

Sleeping soundly,

While I was up, irritated, and awake.

Insomnia was winning that night’s battle,

And the sleeping pills had yet to take effect,

If they were even going to do anything at all.

They had to,

For I needed some sort of escape.


Negative thoughts began to itch their way

To the forefront of my mind,

Making me question my value and worth,

Making me doubt my writing ability,

Make me wonder how long I will sleep alone,

Knowing that the closest I have gotten

To a romantic relationship

Are through my dreams.

Dreams that are transient at best,

Or totally forgotten at worst.

A weak escape.


I slowly tossed and turned.

Everything was slow when I’m in that state.

A state of pure bliss

Sourced by pure poison.

I used to reject marijuana,

Categorizing it as a street drug,

Nothing more,

So naive,

For as I began to live,

And I understood the intricately painful experience called

Life,

My once tight moral code loosened;

However,

No matter how high I get,

I regrettably always sober up

A fleeting escape.


I decided to escape into my mind,

A mind plagued by illness,

But is still capable to produce beauty.

I tried to envision me moving to different places in the world,

Traversing to the known and the unknown,

Experiencing as much as I can,

Leaving behind the troubles at home.

Then again,

Troubles latch onto you

Like an infinite leech,

Constantly finding away to resurface,

Sucking away your peacefulness and tranquility.

It was a nice thought though,

But alas, only

A mini escape.


My escape is beyond this world;

I realized that.

I played around with the idea of a different world.

A world where I am healthy,

Both physically and mentally.

A world where I didn’t have a drug problem.

A world where I kept my friends.

A world where I found true love.

A world where I had no desire to escape

Because there,

Perfection wasn’t some unattainable concept,

But it was reality.

But I am unfortunately not healthy,

Both physically and mentally.

I do in fact have a drug problem,

Lost all of my friends,

Have yet to find love,

And would die for an escape.

That’s when my eyes softly gazed at the sleeping pills.

Death:

The Ultimate Escape.

If there were to be another world,

I would have to leave this one to know for sure.

And even if I find myself embraced by nothing,

I am hard pressed to believe that it would be worse than living

Here.

My hand began to reach for the bottle,

But at that moment,

My eyes drooped down

And my body went limp.

The pills finally achieved its mission:

I was out cold.

I couldn’t escape that night,

Or the many other nights prior to this one.

So let the cycle continue,


Until I become great

Or I can finally escape.


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