The Past Tense Referendum
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.
Always knew that the moment would arrive
Now, that it has, wish it came later instead of sooner
Head expected it, but the heart wished it wasn't so
Glad that you were part of my life for 35 years
Loved you no matter how many miles existed between us
Hard to believe that you're gone
Hasn't been long since you left the physical world
No longer part of the daily lexicon of life
Switching from present-day to the bygone days of yore
Sounded inaccurate to make last month seem like a lifetime ago
It was nonetheless, because everything changed in my eyes
Took for granted that your lifetime ticket was being punched
Pushed to front of the line by circumstance or a roll of the universal dice
Your number called; it was your time to join the dearly departed
On a journey into the greatest unknown out there
Relieved that you're no longer suffering and at peace
Wondered sometimes whether I was a good granddaughter or not
Decided to not let imaginary guilt pollute the memories
Seemed like it was yesterday that we were playing cards
As partners and leaving our competitors in the dust
Usually my parents accusing us of rigging the deck
Or something comically inaccurate as competitive jive talk
Enjoyed hearing your usually funny stories about your life
Took your advice even when it was hard to hear sometimes
Forced myself to not call your phone number every day
Expecting to hear your voice on the other end of the receiver
Will get used to saying "was" and "loved" when taking about you eventually
In the meantime, walking Johnny Cash's musical line into the next phase of my life
Without you physically, but in spirit all the same.