The Past Tense Referendum

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.

Always knew that the moment would arrive

Now, that it has, wish it came later instead of sooner

Head expected it, but the heart wished it wasn't so

Glad that you were part of my life for 35 years

Loved you no matter how many miles existed between us

Hard to believe that you're gone

Hasn't been long since you left the physical world

No longer part of the daily lexicon of life

Switching from present-day to the bygone days of yore

Sounded inaccurate to make last month seem like a lifetime ago

It was nonetheless, because everything changed in my eyes

Took for granted that your lifetime ticket was being punched

Pushed to front of the line by circumstance or a roll of the universal dice

Your number called; it was your time to join the dearly departed

On a journey into the greatest unknown out there

Relieved that you're no longer suffering and at peace

Wondered sometimes whether I was a good granddaughter or not

Decided to not let imaginary guilt pollute the memories

Seemed like it was yesterday that we were playing cards

As partners and leaving our competitors in the dust

Usually my parents accusing us of rigging the deck

Or something comically inaccurate as competitive jive talk

Enjoyed hearing your usually funny stories about your life

Took your advice even when it was hard to hear sometimes

Forced myself to not call your phone number every day

Expecting to hear your voice on the other end of the receiver

Will get used to saying "was" and "loved" when taking about you eventually

In the meantime, walking Johnny Cash's musical line into the next phase of my life

Without you physically, but in spirit all the same.