I feel like an idiot sometimes

A failure

Because there are really hard days

When I feel like I'm stuck

I know I'm growing but it's hard

And I haven't reached my goals yet

So, I lost some of my past that I liked

And yet I haven't reached my dreams yet

So sometimes I feel dumb

Like why did I do this

Why did I try so hard to change myself

To better myself

Now I lost a good friend

Because I chose a different path

And I did make a really good new one

But I have some losses

Along the way

And I haven't found my true North

My dream, where I want to be

There is so much I want

So much I wish I could have in my life

Everyday I'm just trying to be open to change

To new ideas

To being kinder to myself and to be kinder to others

To try to change to be the change I wish to see

I know I need God's help

I know He wants me to have the best

And hopefully I'll end up with double for my trouble

But it takes time

God is faithful though

And I've met many successful people

Many mentors along the way

I'm trying

At least I have a good friend

Who can see the good in me

Who reminds me that I am kind and caring and thoughful

And that I reach out to her

Whether I am feeling good or not!

Sometimes it's the depression talking

Making me think I'm no good

But I am good

I am good because God made me

And all humans have good in them

I will continue to reach for the stars

No matter how hard life can be

But I do wish you the best

I wish you love

I wish you peace and joy

And the ability to see the good in your life and be grateful

And don't let the holidays get you down

Remember how special you are!

Comments

Blondey (author) on June 13, 2020:

Thank you Brenda! I'm in a totallytotally happier place now!

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on December 22, 2019:

I think sometimes we all feel like we are really dumb. Especially when life doesn't work out the way we have planned.

God does take care of us and sometimes I believe we get in the way of his plans for our life by trying so hard to make it the way we want it.

Good write.