Updated date:

Sep 23, 2021

The Most Unexpected Secret

Author:

Teodora Gheorghe

Teodora is a bilingual writer. She is the author of two books, a poetry volume and a collection of short stories.

She's breathless

He’s helpless

She’s livid

He’s timid

She’s snapping

He’s tapping

She falters

He palters

She stops with a sigh

He stares at the sky

She’s eager to hear

He swallows his fear

She looks straight at him

The light’s rather dim

The room’s getting smaller

The ceiling is taller

He opens his mouth

But words don’t come out

He loses his nerve.

“What good does this serve?

The hiding, the lying,

The sneaking, the spying...

All this for a ticket!”

“Ok, what’s your SECRET?”

She says quite annoyed

Expecting a feud.

“Ta-da! Here’s your prize!”

“Is this a surprise?”

“Yes, honey, it is.

Alicia Keys.

It’s starting at eight.

Hurry up, you’ll be late!”

Secrets – what an alluring poetry prompt Brenda has chosen for Week 31. At first, I was tempted to write something about a dark secret, such as the skeleton (literally) in one’s closet. Instead, I opted for a poem with a humorous twist. Maybe I will also try a gloomy one.

I used very short sentences to suggest the tension felt by the two characters (lovers or spouses, you choose) and to mark the suspense which anticipates the revealing of the secret.

Writing poetry that rhymes (in English!) is still a challenge for me. Here’s my little secret: I use the online rhyme dictionary. I also do that when I write poems in Romanian sometimes. This dictionary is quite useful, especially for a non-native English speaker.

Comments

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you, Maryam!

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you, Rinita! Yes, I tried to keep the suspense until the end. :)

Maryam Fatima from Pakistan on September 23, 2021:

Beautiful secret.

Rinita Sen on September 23, 2021:

Aha! Kept wondering where this secret was going. And it ended so well!! Your style of writing is smooth and engrossing.

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you, Misbah! As always, your words are very kind and filled with positive energy.

Misbah Sheikh from The World of Poets on September 23, 2021:

So cute and sweet piece of writing, Teodora. Thank you for sharing! A cheerful response to Brenda's prompt. Loved it!!!

Blessings and love to you!!

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you, Maria! I am happy you liked it.

MariaMontgomery from Coastal Alabama, USA on September 23, 2021:

What a cute and humorous poem. Loved it.

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you, Brenda, for your kind words! Indeed, short, crisp words build the tension of a poem.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on September 23, 2021:

Teodora

Your poem,"The Most Unexpected Secret"

You show us how she knows he is hiding something and believes it to be something bad.

Only to be surprised at the end with something wonderful.

Sometimes using short, crisp words build the tension of a poem.

It puts us right into the scene.

Your words have done this so well.

I love it.

I will post a link in the word prompt article.

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Hello, Chitrangada! Thank you for reading!

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you, Umesh!

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on September 23, 2021:

Hello Teodora!

I loved your response to the word prompt, secrets— the dramatic effect and the humour.

Well crafted and well done. Thank you for sharing!

Umesh Chandra Bhatt from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India on September 23, 2021:

Well presented. Engrossing.

Umesh Chandra Bhatt from Kharghar, Navi Mumbai, India on September 23, 2021:

Good composition.

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you, John!

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Hello, Li-Jen, and thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed my little humorous poem. :)

Teodora Gheorghe (author) on September 23, 2021:

Thank you, Rozlin!

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on September 23, 2021:

I love the short sharp lines that works very well in this back and forth manner. A very creative response to Brenda’s “secrets” challenge. The online rhyme dictionary…what a good idea.

Li-Jen Hew on September 23, 2021:

Hello Teodora. I appreciate the fast pace of the poem as it increases the tension between the lovers and I can feel the anger rising up in her. It was a really a surprise at the end. I didn't expect it too. Nice sense of humour. Thank you for sharing!

Rozlin from UAE on September 23, 2021:

Nice one, Teodora. I enjoyed reading.