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The Man I Didn’t Want to Be

My partner of 8 years & going, wrote this poem based on how he was feeling. Our relationship has many complications but our love is stronger


The man I didn’t want to be.

I thought I locked him up tight.
I buried him deep so he couldn’t be found.
I made sure he couldn’t hear anyone.
I kept the lights on to limit his dark power.
I almost forgot he was there.

When you said mean things he heard.
When you hurt me he knew he would get free.
When you accused me of being a lesser man he smiled.
When you broke my heart he felt it and laughed.
When I thought I had enough and would leave you he rejoiced.

You made me question my values.
You eroded my will to be a better man.
You sucked the joy out of my life.
You assalted my strength until none was left.
You made me long for death again.

While I fight with you to treat me better I fight to keep him silent.
While I grow weaker he grows stronger.
While I suffer from lack of consideration I fight to ignore him.
While you try to anger me I fight the urge to let him out.
While I weep over my broken heart I fight to keep him locked away.

Because of you I am not strong enough to fight him.
Because of you he is breaking free.
Because of you he is angry.
Because of you I am afraid.
Because of you he will hurt people.

He is selfish.
He is unforgiving.
He is not kind.
He is not afraid.
He is my protector!

© 2021 Donna Freret

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