The Living Breathing Human Experiment in Pharmaceutical Grade Perfection

Extra! Extra! Read all about it, folks.

Spread the news that your problems can go away

With the help of just one little white, yellow or pink pill

Whether it's a legitimate ailment or some imperfection

Falsely perceived when you look in the mirror

Or through the judgmental lenses of someone else

Everyone is guilty of taking pills: over the counter and otherwise

Supposed to keep you healthy and relatively sane

Questionable genetics be forgotten and overlooked by all

Unfortunately, the side effects often outweighed the benefits

Especially when the pink and the white pill clash when taken together

The slightest change in certain dosages can make anyone

Jump off the edge of a metaphorical cliff and into the abyss

Feelings of peace, joy or any level of patience fly out the window

Burnt the candle at both ends and never had to leave the house

Stayed in a natty Zeppelin concert t-shirt that had seen better days

Passed down from one devoted generation to another

Preferred that shirt at the moment to some all-natural Vitamin D

Recent events made this latest guinea pig realize that doctors

Don't have the answers just like the rest of us

They just went to school longer and make much more money

A different tax bracket didn't make them immune from mistakes

Big industry organizations gobbled up all of the localized practices

Turned it into a drive-thru service where waiting was the game

And the personal touch completely vanished with the next co-pay

Sure, there are still some practices that have an individualized touch

With a Southern accent, a hippie haircut and a pocket grandma

To keep things interesting and show that humanity still exists

Somewhere buried deep into the subconscious of a different era

Turned the corner to hopefully something better after a few speed bumps

Found an avenue that could lead to a more peaceful solution

And the opportunity to lose the phone number of another doctor's office

That went downhill years ago after being swallowed up by big business

Didn't have the nerve to write them off, but that has changed

After too many different pills authorized without permission

And the lack of personal touch evaporated

Time to break-up with them and move onto another doctor's office

For good.