The Knife of Betrayal
When he's not writing poetry or political articles, Ralph fills his time by researching various topics that are influencing society today.
I remember the day
I'm still feeling the pain
The endless stream of lies
The knife in my back
Giving me up like I was your enemy
Me never understanding why
I was always there for you
My door was always open
I gave you money without question
Treated you like a true friend
Brought attention your way
Gave you a hand up
Opened doors that were closed to you
Made you promises and then delivered
But now it seems that wasn't enough
I gave and gave but never seen
Any sort of gratitude
But I convinced myself it was there
Wrote my own narrative of appreciation
Lowered my standards
Imagined something was becoming
Waiting for that realization
But it never came
I'm such a putz
All I ever wanted was mutual respect
Your appreciation for time served
Remember who was there
When that hour of darkness came
Held you when you cried for help
And I stayed for months on end
I stood there with you
Or better yet, above you
When sanity was hovering
And the darkness was reaching in
It was me who kept you off the ledge
Fending off the demons as you slept
Taking the blows and the angst
Fighting but never surrendering
It was me who had your back
And your front and your sides
I was the only shield that held
The buffer between the world of hate
Your fate was my fate
And we stormed the gates of hell as one
The darkness came again and again
I manned the guard tower
Wept while you slept
Gave my every ounce of energy
Prayed even though I had no religion
Exercised the demons that I could
Tasted the flickering pain
But still I stood my ground
Still I remained
For that was a moment of happening
A teetering on life's precipice
And I stood ready to give my everything
Even my beating heart
Trading one life for another
Yes, that was me
I would have died for you
But in the afterglow
I see the reality of my actions
Wasted it seems
Amounting to nothing but mist and whispers
There's not enough whiskey to erase
The sacrifices and the surrenders
Not enough darkness to hide
The tears of forever
And now seeing that forever won't be coming
The demands are without balance
Forget the counting exercise
In your eyes, it wasn't enough
It would never be enough
The right way isn't a real way
So now it's the highway
The only way to a real day
One without you but one with reality
I'll watch as you shift away
Go back to your old friends and old ways
The river of despair will grow once again
You’ll go from fixed to broken
Maybe then you'll think of me
But help won’t be coming
Not at least from me
Fool me once, but not a second time
The knife is still firmly planted
Blood seeping from an open wound
Dripping in perpetuity
Sympathy a lost conclusion
My heart is broken
Our friendship ended
And the knife still remains
© 2022 Ralph Schwartz
