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The Knife of Betrayal

When he's not writing poetry or political articles, Ralph fills his time by researching various topics that are influencing society today.

the-knife-of-betrayal

I remember the day

I'm still feeling the pain

The endless stream of lies

The knife in my back

Giving me up like I was your enemy

Me never understanding why

I was always there for you

My door was always open

I gave you money without question

Treated you like a true friend

Brought attention your way

Gave you a hand up

Opened doors that were closed to you

Made you promises and then delivered

But now it seems that wasn't enough

I gave and gave but never seen

Any sort of gratitude

But I convinced myself it was there

Wrote my own narrative of appreciation

Lowered my standards

Imagined something was becoming

Waiting for that realization

But it never came

I'm such a putz

All I ever wanted was mutual respect

Your appreciation for time served

Remember who was there

When that hour of darkness came

Held you when you cried for help

And I stayed for months on end

I stood there with you

Or better yet, above you

When sanity was hovering

And the darkness was reaching in

It was me who kept you off the ledge

Fending off the demons as you slept

Taking the blows and the angst

Fighting but never surrendering

It was me who had your back

And your front and your sides

I was the only shield that held

The buffer between the world of hate

Your fate was my fate

And we stormed the gates of hell as one

The darkness came again and again

I manned the guard tower

Wept while you slept

Gave my every ounce of energy

Prayed even though I had no religion

Exercised the demons that I could

Tasted the flickering pain

But still I stood my ground

Still I remained

For that was a moment of happening

A teetering on life's precipice

And I stood ready to give my everything

Even my beating heart

Trading one life for another

Yes, that was me

I would have died for you

But in the afterglow

I see the reality of my actions

Wasted it seems

Amounting to nothing but mist and whispers

There's not enough whiskey to erase

The sacrifices and the surrenders

Not enough darkness to hide

The tears of forever

And now seeing that forever won't be coming

The demands are without balance

Forget the counting exercise

In your eyes, it wasn't enough

It would never be enough

The right way isn't a real way

So now it's the highway

The only way to a real day

One without you but one with reality

I'll watch as you shift away

Go back to your old friends and old ways

The river of despair will grow once again

You’ll go from fixed to broken

Maybe then you'll think of me

But help won’t be coming

Not at least from me

Fool me once, but not a second time

The knife is still firmly planted

Blood seeping from an open wound

Dripping in perpetuity

Sympathy a lost conclusion

My heart is broken

Our friendship ended

And the knife still remains

© 2022 Ralph Schwartz

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