The Incredible Off-Road Journey from Start to Finish

An adventure decades in the makings

Three to be much more precise

A tale as old as time of a girl

Who never went anywhere beyond her couch

Addicted to the glory days of other risk takers

Stuck in an endless whirlpool of fear and regret

Petrified to step off the well worn spot in the sofa

Basically became a piece of macramé on the nearby ottoman

Sweat soaked sweatpants pattern resembled something

Out of a frat boy's dorm room after one too many parties

Time to step out into the dirt road terrain of Joshua Tree

Something off the beaten path to get in touch with nature

And swirling hurricane going on inside this lifeforce

Wondered if it was manufactured or a longtime coming

Hard to tell what's going on with this program sometimes

Especially if the closed captioning is on the fritz again

Impossible to determine how many viewers will remain

To support this show if it goes off the rails one more time

Determined to remain somewhat on the path

Of this rickety drawbridge that sways way too much to the left

Knees trembling when noticed parts were missing

Taking a deep breath and focused on the hour ahead

Nothing more or less

Completely emotionally and physically numb

To everything tangible and otherwise

Cannot focus on what lies underneath

For fear of the dam inside bursting for good

Foundation rocked to its core too many times

Secretly aware that this journey into unparalleled darkness

Will lead to some semblance of light at the end of this Holland Tunnel

Just wait too impatient to get to the end of this emotional labyrinth

Tired of the rollercoaster that's might be imaginary

Wanted to find some equal footing and a reason

To do more than just stay vertical

Ready to go outside and throw out that worn out couch for good!