The Good Girl Initiative

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Wanted to be more than the generalized stereotype

Society transformed me into being most like

Tried to live life outside the lines of the coloring book

Didn't last very long out of fear of getting caught

Wasn't doing anything illegal at all

A natural born worrywart meant to stress over everything

Wearing their hair in a neat and professional manner

Deemed the ultimate display of responsibility

Couldn't have it any other way due to extreme panic

If bills aren't paid by a certain day and time

Loved to adhere to a routine that was ironclad

Well defined lines in the sand meant for strong structure

Grew annoyed when ne'er-do-wells step over them

Erasing the strong construction and letting chaos into the picture

Ready to go give into my anger and go completely nuclear

Turning into the Tasmanian Devil to vent out my frustration

Over those who don't care about what makes you happy

Focusing on their wanton impulsive needs only

Decided against the urge follow my Id and Super Egos

Reigning my dark temper filled tendencies

Focusing on the need to be better than myself

Sounds strange, but decided to fight the temptation for instant relief

Gratification that won't get me anywhere but in trouble

Taking the pledge to always be living on the right side

Whether it's the long arm of law or moralistically

Always afraid to step out of line for fear of harsh consequences

Wouldn't last a minute in prison because hate being confined

For any length of time due to harsh form of cabin fever

Freaking out over the inability to leave those four walls

Itching for some much needed sunlight

Hugging family members and children with harsh abandon

Needing to touch someone if even for a second

Unable to do that during visiting time due to guard's objections

One of the necessary rules to abide by in the big house

Detest stiff restrictions on your time and sleep schedule

So, in the meantime, trying to be on my best behavior

Taking a walk instead of finding a need to explore my rage

Finding other outlets of relief such as kickboxing or knitting

Not going to actually do those things, but you get the picture

Moving one inch and step at a time before making any major decisions

Safer that way and gets you in less trouble

That's the idea; not sure if it's going to way

Have to try nonetheless.

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on January 09, 2020:

I know the feeling of wanting everything done a certain way. Must have the bills paid etc. By a certain date.

It is hard to let go of a routine. To stop being a worrywart.

Just breathe and understand the world around you is not going to stop. You can mess up.

Let your hair down and relax. No tempers needed. No jail time required.

Just let yourself be part of the universe without trying so hard to make everything happen.

Nice write.