The Endless Saga of the Human Enigma

Welcome to the most personal case

Of any Private Detective's career

The case of their missing identity

What made them an active mystery solver

A passion for the uncovered and undiscovered

Rocks tossed aside to reveal nuggets of truth

That fondness for the mysterious faded

Due to circumstances beyond their control

Stuck in a cesspool of routine and "faking" emotion

Just to continue to keep the lights on in the agency

When actual reality was stranger than fiction

Their happiness vanished without a trace

Down the drain of the ultimate shame spiral

Without any help from the usual areas of alcoholic bravery

Wondered if it was the medicine talking

Or was it just getting to the heart of the matter

As Don Henley once sang about in one of his songs

Transformed into another human lab rat

Locked in an endless labyrinth of dirt roads and headlights

Searched for that piece of gold in the form of Velveeta cheese

Always came up short of hitting pay dirt

Ready to sort out the internal cobwebs surrounding the brain

A fog that only disappeared after 10 hours of sleep

Pretended to dress up in Corporate duds from head to toe

With the extra veneer of being a well-adjusted people person

Fake smile plastered on with glue and silly putty

Faded once it started raining or when the putty fell off

Time to solve this boundless mystery

One way or the other to put it to bed for good.