The Chief Snowflake Inspector

John is a poet and short fiction writer who enjoys collaborating on stories with other writers, and partaking in challenges.

To appreciate the beauty of a snowflake, it is necessary to stand out in the cold

— Unknown

Let’s Talk About Snowflakes

Question

Is it true that no two snowflakes are alike?

Answer

The scientific consensus states that the likelihood of two snow flakes being identical is zero.

The probability that two snow crystals or flakes will be exactly alike in molecular structure and in appearance, is very minute. And to prove otherwise would not be easy. Each winter there are about 1 septillion (1, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000 or a trillion trillion) snow crystals that drop from the sky!

To go through all of the snow crystals produced every winter would be a daunting task. So, we rely on cloud physicists, crystallographers, and meteorologists to study snow crystals and explain to us why there are no two snow crystals alike. (Library of Congress)

But, as the following poem suggests, I think we would be better off appointing a Chief Snowflake Inspector.

This poem was inspired by the article ‘Word Prompts Help Creativity ~ Week 45: Snowflake’ by Brenda Arledge.

The Chief Snowflake Inspector

Every snowflake is unique

Is what I have been taught.

But who checks all the snowflakes?

Is that crazy food for thought?

The Chief Snowflake Inspector

Must be always on the job,

For it’s always winter somewhere.

He must make a pretty bob.

I’d love that occupation,

And would give it a good try.

What qualifications must you have

Before you can apply?

There must be a college degree,

Like Bachelor of Snow,

So one can become qualified

In blizzards and ice flow.

He travels all around the world

To every place it’s snowed,

Sampling all the snowflakes

For any difference that they showed.

From Anchorage, Alaska

Then all North America through,

He monitors the snowfalls,

Then flies to Kathmandu.

He checks the Himalayas,

Mt Everest and all,

Each different kind of snowflake

I bet he’s seen them all.

He visits Japan every year

To monitor Mt Fuji,

But ever second day he’s there

He dines upon fresh sushi.

The Chief Snowflake Inspector

Is held in high esteem,

Especially all through Europe,

For his job is what I dream.

How does he compare snowflakes

Across this planet Earth?

I guess that is a secret

Only snowflake inspectors learn.

Although I’m in Australia

Where snowflakes are quite rare,

Snow does fall in the southern states

There are mountain ski slopes there.

A white Christmas I’ve never had,

And a snow man never made.

I’ve never thrown a snowball,

And never worn ice skates.

But none of that’s important,

Because I have just one life goal -

To become a snowball inspector,

Even based at the South Pole.

Maybe the Chief Inspector

Will welcome a trainee,

So I can learn while on the job,

I’ll apply, then wait and see.

I’m sure he needs a holiday,

Somewhere with sand and sun,

Maybe in the Bahamas,

To relax and have some fun.

I know he has big shoes to fill,

Or should I say snow-boots?

But I’d be a worthy stand-in

The best snowflake recruit.

Even the strongest blizzards start with a single snowflake

— Sara Raasch

Snowflake (Slang) ~ Meaning

"Snowflake" is a 2010s derogatory slang term for a person, implying that they have an inflated sense of uniqueness, an unwarranted sense of entitlement, or are overly-emotional, easily offended, and unable to deal with opposing opinions.(wikipedia)

Snowflake ~ an Acrostic Poem

Sorry little snowflake

No insult was meant for you.

Offence I think’s your middle name.

Why do you act the way you do?

For God’s sake show some courage,

Laws are not made for a few.

All of us have opinions,

Kansas City’s just like you.

Every one of us has rights,

So respect all others too.

When there's snow on the ground I like to pretend I'm walking on clouds.

— Takayuki Ikkaku

© 2022 John Hansen