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The Case of the Missing Keys

John values the use of humour and enjoys writing and reading limericks and jokes. He is a fan of Dr. Seuss, Edward Lear and Shel Silverstein

The missing keys

The missing keys

The Case of the Missing Keys

My keys have gone missing,

I think they are lost.

Where could they be?

To find them I must.

I’ve looked everywhere

They could possibly be,

Even places they shouldn’t

Like under a tree.

My keys have gone missing,

They’ve just disappeared.

Once before they were stolen,

So that’s a real fear.

I used them this morning,

I took out the bus,

But since I came home

It’s all been a fuss.

My keys have gone missing,

Oh how can this be?

I’m always so careful,

This just isn’t me.

I had to do something

That got me distracted,

And I put the keys down.

My mind is compacted.

My keys have gone missing,

It’s really not fair,

The stress that I’m feeling.

I’m pulling out hair.

My wife says to retrace

Each step that I took.

I’ve done that five times,

More than a good book.

My keys have gone missing,

My head is so sore.

The car and the bus keys,

The house keys and more.

I’ve looked in the kitchen,

Every room in the home,

I checked out my tool shed,

And on the hook near the phone.

My keys are still missing,

I can’t concentrate.

I must find them soon,

The day’s getting late.

I’ve given up searching,

I can’t look anymore.

I’ll just go and shut ...

Oh! ... they’re in the back door.

... how embarrassing ...

I am sure that is the first place I looked ... really, it was ....

Questions & Answers

Question: Have you ever tried asking Saint Anthony for assistance when losing something?

Answer: No, I haven't, but thanks for the tip. Maybe next time I lose something I will try praying for his help.

© 2019 John Hansen


John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on March 02, 2020:

Much appreciated, Brenda.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on March 02, 2020:


I shared this one.


John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on July 03, 2019:

PS, it is so good to know we are not alone in these things. I too have a special place for keys but sometimes we get distracted and common sense does not always prevail. Thank you for reading and for the angels.

Patricia Scott from North Central Florida on July 03, 2019:

O my ----this must resonate with a LARGE audience. I have left my keys in the door and searched high and low for them. The really sad part is that I have a special spot for them which would keep me from losing them and m mind if I used it every time. Clearly I do not---just what I needed to read this evening----thank you for once again sharing your wit and humor. Here's to no more lost keys!!!! Angles are winging their way to you this evening ps

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 30, 2019:

Hi Li-Jen, I feel you need to see the funny side of every situation, even if it is stressful at the time. Yes, at least I know where to look first next time. I just hope I don’t lose my glasses, then what hope have I got?

Li-Jen Hew on June 30, 2019:

Haha, gaining inspiration from losing keys! Funny title! Glad you found the keys. If you lose them, then you'll know where to find them haha. Thanks for sharing.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 27, 2019:

Glad this raised a chuckle, Lawrence, and that you can relate. Wow, how lucky was that you found the phone in the bin while emptying it. Thanks for sharing that.

Lawrence Hebb from Hamilton, New Zealand on June 27, 2019:


This brought a chuckle after a long day, thank you.

It also reminded me of the time I lost a mobile phone, thankfully not one of the smartphones we have today, but still stressful enough.

I found it two days later, in a rubbish bin I was emptying in the City CBD!!! (I was working as a street cleaner at the time)

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 20, 2019:

Hello, Rinita, nice to see you. I admit I was getting quite stressed about the lost keys, but I knew they couldn’t be far away. I just don’t

Ike losing anything. Glad I was able to capture the frustration.

Rinita Sen on June 20, 2019:

The repeating of the phrase - my keys have gone missing - certainly sets the urgent mood behind the poem. You are truly gifted to be able to make a poetry out of stress. Glad you found your keys, though. I am sure we've all been there. If not keys, something else.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 11, 2019:

Ha Shauna, yes that happened to me once as well. Thanks for reading and relating.

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on June 11, 2019:

We've all been there, John. Have you ever lost your glasses only to discover they're sitting on top of your head?

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 04, 2019:

Thanks, Marie. No, short mystery story here sorry. Maybe next time.

Marie Flint from Jacksonville, FL USA on June 04, 2019:

Cute, humorous.

At first I thought I'd be reading a short story mystery.

You kept the meter and rhyme. Nice.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 03, 2019:

Haha, Alyssa. Nice to hear from another who can relate to doing this. I don’t feel so bad. Yes so much for locking the door.

Alyssa from Ohio on June 03, 2019:

I was on the edge of my seat as I read through, hoping you were going to find your keys! I've done the very same thing.. left them in the door after coming home. So much for the door being locked! haha! Awesome poem!

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 03, 2019:

Oh, thanks so much for sharing what your mother said Brenda. I am glad she enjoyed this. I always check weird places too, you never know.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on June 03, 2019:


My mother enjoyed your poem and the video clip.

She said to let you know they once misplaced their keys and found them in the stereo.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 02, 2019:

Yes, me too! Believe it or not, I did also check the freezer. Nothing would surprise me and I thought I had already looked in all the obvious places. Thanks Flourish.

FlourishAnyway from USA on June 02, 2019:

Not you too! I leave mine in the door and my husband teases me that I’m going soft in the brain. At least they aren’t in the freezer.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 02, 2019:

Hey Brenda, yes you got it! it does make you so frustrated when you lose something important like your keys that you are unable to concentrate on anything else. I get like that. So glad you enjoyed the George Carlin video..it was one I had not seen before either. Thank you for giving your mother the link too. i hope she enjoys it.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on June 02, 2019:


What a cute poem. It is so true.

We are always frustrated when this happens and nothing else seems to get accomplished as we cannot stop our minds from searching.

This happens to my mother and her husband on a weekly basis.

I so loved your video of George Carlin. One of my favorites, though i had not heard this one before.

Thanks for the smiles and enlightening my day.

Oh...i sent a link to my mother also.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 02, 2019:

Hi Genna. Losing keys and glasses etc seem to be common occurrences. Haha, it was obviously a good money spinner for you and your sister finding your dad's glasses and keys. I hope you weren't tempted to hide them on him lol. Thanks for reading, glad you enjoyed.

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on June 02, 2019:

I've done that a couple of times, John, only to find them in the front door lock. I remember my father used to lose his at times -- his glasses as well. He used to offer my sister and I a quarter if we could find them. (The absentminded professor.) Loved this fun poem that enables us to laugh at ourselves, while knowing that we're in good company. :-)

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 01, 2019:

Thank you Heather Ann. Appreciated.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on June 01, 2019:

Thank you my brother Sean, for your constant support and encouragement. So glad you found your puerility though. Blessings.

Heather Ann on June 01, 2019:

lol this is cute!

Ioannis Arvanitis from Greece, Almyros on June 01, 2019:

That's my rainbow poet! Well done again! Your poem reminds me of the time I thought I had lost my puerility, but finally and fortunately, it was always in my Heart!



PS: I love George Carlin, he is one of a kind!

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 30, 2019:

Thanks for visiting MsDora and for the nice comment. I really was getting quite frustrated so it was a relief when I found then, but embarrassing as well. I had no choice but to write a funny poem about it all.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on May 30, 2019:

John, I can and I'm sure many others too can relate. You made me laugh at myself. Beautiful, playful, truthful lines.

S P Austen from Qualicum Beach, BC, Canada on May 29, 2019:

I will - she'll laugh, I hope!

All the best,


John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Yes, Linda it was in Dr Seuss style, thank you for noticing that and having a laugh. Glad you can relate to. Blessings.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Ok Premjit, I will.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Hi Elijah, I hoped this would give the readers a good laugh, even though it wasn’t funny at the time. It isn’t something I normally do. I more often misplace my glasses lol. Keep laughing.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Ruby, glad these gave you a laugh, both my poem and the George Carlin video. Thanks.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Hey Steve, thanks my friend. Tell your wife I feel for her. Cheers.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on May 29, 2019:

John, this was hilarious. Perfect Dr. Seuss style...and boy, can I relate.

Premjit Sunil Gatigante on May 29, 2019:

Keep going

Elijah A Alexander Jr from Washington DC on May 29, 2019:

So, So, Sssooo funny, John, and that's something man do so often. After living the nomad life, once I got a place to lock up, I have always kept my keys on something and attached to the shorts I am or would be wearing after my bath.

As the nomad, I often left my knife or some other tool and if I got 50feet away from it I would say "there's something better ahead" and surly as said it would be. I never saw a reason to become stressed.

Thanks for sharing it, it gave me the laugh of the day and I'm still laughing out loud.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on May 29, 2019:

I'm still laughing, George is so funny. BTW there' s some more good videos contained in the video. I also laughed at your poem. Nothing is more frustrating than loosing something. I enjoyed reading about your key's.

S P Austen from Qualicum Beach, BC, Canada on May 29, 2019:

I think we can all relate to this one, John! Especially my wife!

Best Wishes,


John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Haha Bill, poor Bev (and you). My wife loses her keys as well but usually when she is out rather than at home. Invariably they are found in her purse, so me leaving them in the back door isn’t so bad. I do think most people could relate to this though.

Bill Holland from Olympia, WA on May 29, 2019:

I am not making this up...Bev loses her keys at least twice a week. It's like a constant scavenger hunt at our house. lol You captured it perfectly, John! Welcome to my life.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Yes, sure is when you need them most. I'm glad you can relate Clive.

Clive Williams from Jamaica on May 29, 2019:

i feel the pain...i hate when my keys go missing. and it is always when you need them.

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Yes, John, I think losing one's keys is quite a common occurrence. I am glad you enjoyed this bit of frivolity.

John Welford from Barlestone, Leicestershire on May 29, 2019:

I think we've all done something like this at one time or another! I enjoyed this little piece of nonsense!

John Hansen (author) from Gondwana Land on May 29, 2019:

Hey Pamela. This wasn't much fun at the time, but I have to look back and laugh. Glad you enjoyed it too. Cheers.

Pamela Oglesby from Sunny Florida on May 29, 2019:

This poem was so much fun to read as we probably all relate to doing something just like this. I really liked this very good poem John.

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