Skip to main content

The Bumbling Explorer Strikes Back!

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 14 years.

Taking a chance by answering the call of an adventurer's nature

Stepping out of the confines of a cozy two bedroom condo

Into the unknown jungle of reality and not what's on television

Suddenly, venturing into completely foreign territory

Where no one speaks remotely the same language

Or one of the three local tribal dialects

And a translator cannot be found for miles

Not even the national currency is the right one

Unfortunately, the country's version of a Mac machine

Only spits out the currency that belonged to the wrong nation

Won't accept what you have in your weathered brown billfold

Stumbling into chaos and oncoming Rickshaw traffic

Turning into a long lost relative of Mr. Magoo instead of Indiana Jones

Initial confidence faded once the trademark fedora finally vanished

Spiders and rattlesnakes appeared in its unexpected place

Legs trembling from hypothermia and utter fright

Feet burning a hole in the ground to escape the Temple of Doom

Unable to locate familiar comforts of home or even a hotel

Dad's Dutch Apple Pie recipe or Grandma's Cinnamon Rolls

Have been eaten by the rest of the family at dinner

Stuck at a train station in a town smaller than Mayberry

One that made Andy Taylor's fictional town look like Manhattan

A metropolis only a tiny dot on the radar of Rand McNally's universe

A map that gets destroyed in the raging currents of the Amazon

Traveling on nothing but naivety, instinct and Snickers bars

Wondering why it was considered a good idea to do this trip

Was it the cross things off the proverbial bucket list?

Taking a chance or a dare for that matter?

Ready for the comfort zone level of a fine sunken in green sofa

Royal Blue flannel sheets to soften the blow of the mundane

Tired of playing Dora the Explorer and ready to be invisible to bugs

Searching for the departure date to return home

In the meantime, waiting for the next train to arrive at the station

Should be arriving between now and 48 hours later

Only time will tell which occurs first.

Once this fedora goes, chaos appears in its place.

Once this fedora goes, chaos appears in its place.