Maya Hall
I always thought my birthday should be more of a wedding ceremony
White dress gathering lace at the hem
Standing before an alter
Whispering my love letter to my body and back again
Before she and I sat in perfect harmony all smiles and radiant confidence
At last saying “I do” before we blew out the candles on my birthday cake.
I always believed in my body being separate from my soul.
This figure before you mouthing words
Fingers brushing over a keyboard
Eyes slanted down to look at words on a computer screen
Is the body I chose to stay with until she is too old to carry me any longer.
I will love and live with her until the day she dies
See me
I have no gender.
I am the soul that chose to hold her the day I saw her curled in her mothers womb.
I am the entity that decided to fall in love the moment her cells started to multiply.
These words written by her fingers and mouthed by her lips
Were thought by me.
I sit behind her eyes and in her heart
There is no place in her that I have not joyously explored
And the beauty of watching her grow Is something almost spiritual.
She is a small thing,
Pretty in her delicate nature
She argues with me from time to time, as in all relationships
Bones creaking in protest to falls and bumps.
She’s sometimes clumsy but other times extremely agile
And on some nights I like to drink in her slim muscled beauty
Knowing that before all this started I spent sleepless nights wandering galaxies
Trying to find just the right wrists and arms to wrap myself in
Just the right ribcage to hold me close
Just the right legs who would be willing
Out of love
To carry me thousands of miles and not finding the right fit
Until her.
See she accepted me the moment I laid eyes on her.
Open armed and strong legged
Her heart beats blood that keeps me alive
Her brain functions as a makeshift home for me to rest in
And I am grateful.
I do not view her as ugly.
How anyone can look at the relationship of their bodies and themselves
And choose to call their partner anything less then beautiful
Is beyond me.
I think we forget this relationship exists
And the impacts it has both on us
The souls
And them
The beautiful bodies that accepted to carry us
And care for us until the day they die
Is astounding.
Your body allows you full control.
It does not fight back when it is being starved or mutilated
It does not raise its voice in protest
Though in reality it is the one with the vocal chords.
It does not complain when you call it ugly or wrong
Or poke at its hips or arms saying it is too fat or too slim
It welcomes all we have to give and take from them and in that sense
Our bodies are selfless.
How we can choose to hate them,
Hurt them,
Bruise them and even completely destroy them before their due time
Is a reflection on us
And how little we cherish this selfless
In some ways divine,
Acceptance and control that our bodies willingly allow us to have
Even when being abused.
Us, as souls, may live through thousands of bodies and yet
Your body lives only once
A single blink of an eye on a cosmic scale
And it choose that time,
100 years or less
To love and care for you.
Don’t call him or her ugly.
Don’t be frustrated with their gender
Sometimes a soul needs to be understanding enough
To help a body change from male to female or vise versa.
Sometimes a soul must be artistic enough to decorate a body in ink and jewelry
To tell the story of their love without words
Sometimes a soul must be strong enough to withstand a bodys' weakness
Be it missing limbs or defective organs
And choose to love and cherish it anyways.
I always thought my birthday should be more of a wedding ceremony
White dress gathering lace at the hem
Standing before an alter
Whispering my love letter to my body and back again
before she and I sat in perfect harmony all smiles and radiant confidence
at last saying “I do” before we blew out the candles on my birthday cake
Because it is another year gone by between us as a team
Where she and I are equals.
There isn't any love stronger then a heart that beats for you
Lungs that breathe for you
Legs that walk for you
Just for you
And no one else.
In sickness and in health
Until death do us part
Happy Birthday.
