The Angry Submissive Stopped Taking Requests
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.
Always looked to please every male around with a smile
Not through anything dirty or too shameful
Just an act or two of polite servitude to earn a recommendation
A step in a world populated by chauvinistic dinosaurs of yesteryear
A direct nod to the June Cleaver/Martha Stewart archetype
Mousy brunette locks sacrificed at the altar of the bleach blonde bimbo
Cooked, cleaned and performed all of her wifely duties
Giving her husband a reason to come home at dinner time
Avoiding the three martini lunch in the process
Didn't want the accompanying hangover to ruin his evening
Vision of his missus dressed as his private Brigitte Bardot
Along with the token French maid costume and the feather duster
To clean those hard to reach corners with ease
Unfortunately, too tired to put much gusto into this evening's performance
Had to pretend to enjoy living a life as a joyously ravenous maid
Preferred to cuddle up with the three martinis and sleep the weekend away
Let the husband cook the meals and clean the house for a change
Fed up with being the ultimate domestic goddess
Eager to burn that stupid caveman typecast to the ground
Turn it into the biggest pile of ashes with nearest blowtorch
Along with all of the posters of Raquel Welch from One Million Years B.C.
The one that made all of the Don Draper replicas drool in private
Ready to let the roots come through the salon designed flaxen hair color
Announced to the world that nothing about this former servant was real
Cancelled the husband's lifelong subscription to Playbook out of spite
An impulsive move after accidentally calling his former goddess fat
Threw out the maid's costume and accessories for pure revenge
Poured some Kerosene on and set it ablaze along with his opinions
Of how his wife deserved to be viewed as more than a trophy
That he won in a hunting match and mounted on his wall
After putting her through a fair course of taxidermy to shut her up
Time to put his fantasies to bed forever and create some harsh new realities
One where she would get as much pleasure out of life as he does
Another where he was the domestic every now and again
Would be a hilarious sight if he was a French servant along with the duster
For added measure of extreme comedy to mock him ceaselessly later on
Time to stop giving into the demands of a man's society
Pretending to always be the gracious hostess when you don't want to
Do anything except watch 80s horror movies in your pajamas
Eating nothing but Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream
Staining the rest of the faded Eagles concert tee with no worries
The new designated mad washer will make sure it's clean tomorrow
Good news: it's not the former Mrs. Cleaver anymore
Task now belonged to Mr. Cleaver instead
Beware of June's wrath if her favorite shirt wasn't good as new
Change your name and address
Enter Witness Protection because this submissive no longer submits
Requests for anyone except herself and her kids.
Deal with it; or else.
Questions & Answers
Question: Why do some women allow themselves to give those alpha male wannabes credit when they don't deserve it?
Answer: The answer is pretty simple. You don't because the idea of being subservient to those cave dwellers is just plain ridiculous. Never been like that in real life ever. The poem was meant to be partially satirical and a call to arms for women who do relegate themselves to the background to stop doing so. Better to do things on mutual terms than forced to always coming in second. It was my way of saying I'm done with following those supposed norms that are just plain lame.