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Sunrise, Sunset: A Moment with Bill Reflection

Sing It with Me

“Sunrise, Sunset

Sunrise, Sunset

Swiftly flow the days….”

A child is trapped in this aging body.

Memories are trapped within the child.

There are days those memories quietly lap against the shoreline of my mind, caressing the sands, providing a gentle backdrop of relaxing noise as I go about the business of living.

And there are days when those waves crash upon the beach, scouring, upsetting, changing the topography, and washing away tranquility.

Such is life.

There is no altering of the inevitable. We are left, then, to learn from it all.

Safe within loving arms

Safe within loving arms

The Early Days

Being held in the bosom of safety; coddled, adored, and loved. The world is a mystery. The world is exhilarating, frightening, challenging, and confusing. We categorize events, words, actions, filing them away for future use, calling upon them with each stumble, each bumble, each wayward turn on the path.

We are, hopefully, protected during those early days. True, our freedom is limited, our actions controlled, but despite the soft shackles there is a sense of freedom, of unlimited possibilities, and wonderment. We caress the soft face of our mother, knowing that therein love resides. We grasp the hard hand of our father, knowing that therein wisdom resides. We celebrate the embraces and yet long for the escape, for the world is calling us and we must answer that call.

I miss it all.

Sunrise, Sunset

Rules are made, rules are broken, for how else can we learn if not by stretching those bonds to their breaking point? We know we shouldn’t but we do. We know we should but we don’t. “Red is gray and yellow white, and we decide which is right, and which is an illusion,” and sometimes, in the deciding, we learn lessons harder than forged steel, and the price is pain….and the price is joy.

Be home by dinner….don’t get those new clothes dirty….do your chores or there’ll be hell to pay….mind your manners and don’t sass your elders….study hard and make a name for yourself….children should be seen and not heard….my goodness gracious, so many silly little rules, choking the life out of us, leaving us staggering under the weight of it all, forcing, yes, forcing us to further strain on those bonds, weakening their tensile strength, hoping they will break soon, but still, terrified that they will.

I miss it all.

Getting ready to break free

Getting ready to break free

The First Vestiges of Freedom

Hop in that chopped-down ’64 Chevy and head for the beach, my buddies and me, a cooler in the backseat right next to the cool ones, Bobby and Frank, Denny and James, me driving with the wind in our hair and piss and vinegar flowing through our veins. KJR Radio is spinning the hits, we’re all in rock n roll heaven, and man alive I feel alive. Could life get any better? Young guns, gunnin’ young, and outrunning life itself.

Wash and wax that beauty and don’t forget the chrome. See the lovelies walking the beach with their one-piece bathing suits, revealing so little, suggesting so much, demanding our attention and our drool, and is there anything as forlorn as a drooling fool? Peacocks prancing, showing off the plumage, spouting nonsense, a ritual as old as man and woman, all part of the process.

A&W afterwards, nothing beats a root beer float on a hot Saturday afternoon, again with the plumage, again with the nonsense, again with the whoops and hollers, marking our territory with a lift of the leg and a display of false confidence.

I miss it all.

All gone

All gone

Not All Memories Are Good

The cocoon has a rip, and from that rip flows life forms, a grandmother here, an uncle there, so important in our upbringing and now pushing up daisies and tulips, dust to dust, joy to tears, memories growing as life, and death, march to diametrically opposed drummers.

And then a parent, and the foundation cracks, and off to college you go with a heavy heart and a head full of questions, and who the hell wrote that into the script? And damn, now, wait a minute, my friends are dying in a place I’ve never heard from, and the lovely little movie of contentment is suddenly showing horror movie tendencies, and ain’t that the shits?

Leave it to Beaver and body bags from rice fields; Miss America Pageants and assassinations; welcome to the good old US of A, where you can buy a snow cone and suck on it while watching the riots down the street, and black is black, and white is white, and ne’er the two shall mix.

I miss it all.

Wisdom with Age

Don’t you believe it, boys and girls. Wisdom comes from pain. Watch how that cat prances on the hot tin roof. There’s a lesson learned that won’t soon be forgotten, and just like that quick-footed feline, this soldier of life learns only when the feet are burning and the brain is registering the sensory overload.

Marriage equals pain and heartache. Over-indulgence equals lost in the wilderness. Lack of self-love equals just plain lost. Step right this way, folks, and buy a ticket to the fun house. Rack up those possessions, the newest of that, the biggest of those, charge it all and borrow from Pete to pay Paul….but…the Piper will have his day, and that day will require show and tell, and suddenly the plumage ain’t nearly as bright or impressive, and where the hell is John Wayne, and why isn’t he riding in on his steed to save the day?

I miss it all.

And now I lay me down to sleep

And now I lay me down to sleep

Happy Trails, to You

Until we meet again. Sing it Roy and Dale, even though fairy tales have no place in reality, but here’s the funny thing about it all…here’s the gut-buster that will leave you holding your side and begging for mercy….we still believe in them. We still believe in the happy endings, where boy meets girl, boy marries girl, boy and girl ride off into the sunset with big old grins on their faces.

Boy meets girl or boy meets boy, or maybe girl meets girl, and they ride off into the sunset with prejudice and hatred dogging their steps, blazing a new trail, a new reality, and pain is the price for new lessons learned, but those lessons must be learned and must be accepted if we are to have any hope at all as a species.

And so we learn. We may fight it…we may strain against those self-imposed bonds…but we will learn one damned way or another. Seven-point-two billion learners, paving the way, skipping across that hot tin roof, shrieking and howling as they go, pushing the limits, breaking the bonds that tie, and hopefully, learning from each other.

Sunrise, Sunset

Sunrise, Sunset

Swiftly flow the days.

Today those memories caress my mind in a loving embrace. The plumage is fading, the balky insecurities a thing of the past, peace overrides fear, and all because I had to pay my dues in my own way, in my own fashion, and in my own time.

I miss it all, I love it all….this is my life and isn’t it a miracle?

© 2014 Bill Holland


Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on November 05, 2018:

And I thank you, Verlie! Peace and happiness to you always.

Verlie Burroughs from Canada on November 05, 2018:

Sunrise, sunset

Sunrise, sunset

Swiftly fly the years

One season following another

Laden with happiness and tears

Singing along Bill, Thanks for this.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on September 14, 2014:

Michael my friend, I will always take your vote seriously. Thank you for your kind words and your understanding. You are a loyal friend and follower, and you are greatly appreciated.


Michael-Milec on September 14, 2014:

Oh Bill, as if comparison of memories would be impossible when someone is born , raised , pressured to make it better than yesterday, using every bit energy to gain some supply of wisdom for tomorrow - and then reeds about memories disclosing different age, generation and predictability.

You have lost me in this lovely article and i love very bit of it because your story makes sense of other kind. Am I ever learning to accommodate! Huh.

And, my desire is to.

At times seems to me, I am looking around wondering if all the clothing's still on me ?! Time is moving faster than a train in full speed , carrying the group of highest quality writers HP will ever introduce to the needy world…To jump in seems to be harder than famous " to be or not to be "…

Though no one would take my vote seriously, this is awesome, beautiful and interesting.

Have a marvelous week my friend. Good night.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 26, 2014:

Thanks as always, Deb. I hope I've spent my life well, but I still have time to do more.

Deb Hirt from Stillwater, OK on August 26, 2014:

You're right, that's exactly what happens. What ae we left with? Just memories, which we make every day. Time never stands still, nor was it meant to do so. One day you'll wake up, and that's al that will be left, if we can still remember...

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 25, 2014:

Cam, good to see you my friend, and thank you.

Chris Mills from Traverse City, MI on August 25, 2014:

I'm glad I didn't miss this one, Bill. Thanks so much for all the valuable thoughts here.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 22, 2014:

Thank you FreezeFrame. I'm mighty glad you stopped by too.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 22, 2014:

Thank you Dianna! As a writer, I love to hear that my words bring the emotions out in my readers. That was a mighty nice compliment.

FreezeFrame34 from Charleston SC on August 21, 2014:

Beautiful work, Bill!

I'm glad I stopped by and didn't miss it all!

Life truly is a balance between appreciating what we have, missing what we used to have, and wanting something we may never have!

Dianna Mendez on August 21, 2014:

If you play the song while reading, it may make you cry. Love your thoughts on passing of time. I remember the snow cones. Licking the sweet syrup around my fingers and enjoying the cold ice on my pearly whites. Thanks for the wonderful stroll down memory lane.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 21, 2014:

Thank you Suzie! It's been one hell of a ride and it ain't over yet my friend. Let's have a blast the rest of the way. What do you say?

Sending hugs this fine Thursday morning. Tell Mick howdy for me.


Suzanne Ridgeway from Dublin, Ireland on August 21, 2014:

Hi Bill,

Wrote this but it went strange when submitting so fingers crossed this gets through! Your writing touch a chord with me as I think it will in all who read it. What a rollercoaster life is full of twists, turns but somehow we make it through albeit a bit disheveled. I feel like I am still going through the corkscrew section and what ride I am having!

Thanks my friend your gift is so inspiring and hoping you are having a great week in Olympia! Love ya heaps as always!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

Thank you so very much, vkwok!

Victor W. Kwok from Hawaii on August 20, 2014:

Reading this hub was a really wonderful experience, Bill!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

Thank you Diana, and yes, old snapshots are amazing resources for a fertile mind.

Diana L Pierce from Potter County, Pa. on August 20, 2014:

Don't you just love how an old snapshot can perk your memory bank? There's certain to be a great story behind each picture. Good hub.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

Thank you, Martie, and welcome to HubPages.

MartieG aka 'survivoryea' from Jersey Shore on August 20, 2014:

Grew up in that era and memories can be good - or not. New here on HubPages and your hub popped up as I was exploring, coincidence? I don't know but it hit home. Best wishes as you climb up and away.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

travmaj, there is no rule book when we start out. It's like this huge cosmic crapshoot without knowing how to play the game. LOL It all works out though, and I love my life, so there you go. Thanks for being here.

travmaj from australia on August 20, 2014:

Memories good and not so good - on reflection I reminisce with myself and find many moments lodged in my memory that I would change - If only I'd walked away - if only I'd stayed put - if only - if only. No turning back is there? Huh. It's all life though and what makes us tick and what makes us unique. Hell though, it's a weird system...

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

I appreciate it, Randi. Thanks for your kind words and loyal following.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

Thank you so much, Flourish.

Randi Benlulu from Mesa, AZ on August 20, 2014:

Wow, Bill! I found myself racing along with you, from memory to memory. Loved it! Thank you!

FlourishAnyway from USA on August 20, 2014:

This was an inspired piece of work, Bill.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

Jo, thank you my friend, and I don't have an answer to your question. I had peanut butter, by the way. LOL Blessings always, Jo.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

Thank you Frank. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

Thank you so much, Mona!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 20, 2014:

Leslie, it will be interesting to find out, won't it? I hope their memories are as good as mine. Thank you for your reflection.

Tobusiness on August 20, 2014:

Bill, why is it that we remember the past so vividly as we grow older, when I for one, can barely remember what I had for breakfast this morning? :) You've taken me way back in time. The song by the Beatles, "In my life" always seem to touch something deep in me, beautifully done.

This piece is exquisite. Take care, I hope all is well, my best always.

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on August 20, 2014:

what didn't kill us made us stronger...right? Great reflection of days gone by good and bad still I wouldn't change a thing... great share my friend :)

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on August 19, 2014:

This is really, really beautiful, Billybuc:)

Leslie A. Shields from Georgia on August 19, 2014:

We all think the era we grew up in is the "good old days", I know that I do... I look around and wonder what the youth of today will say about the era they are growing up in now.... Thanks for the share and the memories.....

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Faith, I sure hope you can sleep with that song rattling around inside your head. :) Lovely reflections of your own my friend, and I thank you for them.

Have a lovely Wednesday, and blessings always


Faith Reaper from southern USA on August 19, 2014:

"Those were the days, my friend, we thought they'd never end ... we'd sing and dance ..." Lovely reflections on this roller coaster we call life, dear Bill. It goes by so fast, almost in a blink of an eye it seems, and when we really think about all of it, we ponder, where has it all gone? I love all of your music choices here. We actually saw Tom Petty in concert back when American Girl was a big hit.

Let us live enjoying every moment of each day, or let us try. Now, I am thinking of the lyrics and song, "Memories light the corners of my mind ..."

Good night and sweet memories

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Sis, if I ended your day perfectly then I've got a big old smile on my face. Yes indeed, I wouldn't have wanted to grow up during any other era. I loved those days. I found them so exciting, and they formed me into the person I am. Loved it my dear.

Sleep well, Sis, and thank you.

Suzie from Carson City on August 19, 2014:

Memories.....sigh. I'm a hopeless day dreamer. When I daydream I seem to always drift back. Perhaps because of the sheer happiness and pure innocence that was so much a part of our growing-up years....those marvelous '50's-'60's. Life was simple and by God, just about everything was done the way it should be done....

I love this hub...love, love love it!....It's so perfect as my final read tonight before I call it a day and shuffle off to my sanctuary. I will have such pleasant dreams now. Gee, bro.....Thanks so much. You helped me to remember how wonderful it was to be "tucked into bed" by Mom or Dad........Remembering how it was and knowing I wouldn't have it any other way....Up++++

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thanks John. I miss those days, but I'm loving life today as well, so there you go. It's all the process of life my friend.

John Hansen from Gondwana Land on August 19, 2014:

Another wonderful hub Bill. I love this style. It sounded like one of Toby King's talks :) I would love to live my life over again. Maybe in hindsight I may do a few things differently, but I don't regret any of it and sure do miss it. Now however I'm just trying to make the most of the present and hopefully what we learn from the past ups and downs helps to shape our future for the better. Great write, voted up.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thank you Ruby. I think of you every single time I write a piece like this.

Ruby Jean Richert from Southern Illinois on August 19, 2014:

Like i say repeatedly, when you write from your heart, you shine. The good old days were fun and carefree and they gave us memories to last a lifetime. Loved this....

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Friends for life, Manatita, and I like the sound of that. Thank you my friend, and blessings to you always.

manatita44 from london on August 19, 2014:

Sunrise, sunset .... Cool, Bill. Kind of like Everything eventually recedes, everything eventually blossoms, or the observation of ebb and flow. Anyway, this is your Hub and I'm getting off (smile)

Sad that here in NY I can't play the vids. Public Cafe. Funny here.

Great Hub and full of wisdom. Finally, you are one of the few who say this: "our freedom is limited, our actions controlled." My friend for life, now. (Lol) Love to you and Bev

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

I agree, Jamie, and thank you!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

I will indeed, Sally, and thank you for the translation.

Jamie Lee Hamann from Reno NV on August 19, 2014:

Really all those bad decisions I made have led up to now and now is pretty awesome. Thank you Bill for a great read. Jamie

Sally Gulbrandsen from Norfolk on August 19, 2014:

Directly translated - Edith Piaf says it all in her song - Live your life in the moment and have no regrets. If you have not heard the song - time to visit youTube Billy :)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

It does indeed, Jackie. I love the entire trip. Thanks for your thoughts.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thank you DDE. Just call me the Surprise Man. :)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thank you ChitrangadaSharan...it seems to be true.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Sally, if I did that, then my job as a writer was successful. Thank you my friend, and I hope you are having a wonderful week. I'll assume what you said in French was a good thing. :)


Jackie Lynnley from the beautiful south on August 19, 2014:

Beautiful write Bill. If I could change certain things I probably would but I wouldn't go back; as great as it was. Learning from our mistakes and others makes us who we are.


Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on August 19, 2014:

Old photos make me think far back in time though not so far back. You are just so full of surprises.

Chitrangada Sharan from New Delhi, India on August 19, 2014:

The more we age, the more we go back to our past memories!

An enjoyable and nostalgic read! Thanks for sharing!

Sally Gulbrandsen from Norfolk on August 19, 2014:


Non, je ne regrette rien - Edith Piaf comes to mind - I love that song and oh I love that haunting voice. I miss things too Billy but just reading this made me recall a few things I thought I had erased from my memory - thanks for that.


Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

At the very least, Ann. :) Thank you!

Have a great Tuesday and beyond.


Ann Carr from SW England on August 19, 2014:

It's good to hear that! Get rid of you?! What would I do without you? I know I'd miss a few smiles at the very least.


Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thank you Rhonda. I've hung up my firebrand and settled into nostalgia. :) For better or for worse.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Ahhh, Eric, a boot is a lesson one never forgets, 'eh? Thanks my friend.

poetvix from Gone from Texas but still in the south. Surrounded by God's country. on August 19, 2014:

What a wondrous walk through a life, skipping along the highs and lows, learning from all and surviving to yet smile. Inspirational.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thanks, Lizzy...I'm buying at the A&W...meet me at one.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thank you DJ, and how weird that the picture is similar to one you have....hey, I'll meet you down at the drive-in...I'm buying. :)


Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Mary, I am always happy to see you pop up. I hope that back is treating you better. Get well soon and thank you for taking the time to visit me this morning.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Ann, I'll be at HP until they drop me in the hole...just not writing for them five days a week. You can't get rid of me my friend.


Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on August 19, 2014:

I reckon it is good that sometimes those old waves come crashing down and changing my landscape. Good to remember. I am afraid I got more of a boot than a cutting loose ;-)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thank you Brie...you are appreciated my friend.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Dora, I agree with you completely, and I love the way you said that...the shadow of sorrow. :)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thank you Larry...good times my friend.

Liz Davis from Hudson, FL on August 19, 2014:

Man oh man, I love an A&W float on a hot day.

Wisdom comes from pain--ain't that the truth.

Great one, Billy.

DJ Anderson on August 19, 2014:

What a stunning hub! You dug up many old memories from the past.

I had not thought of Roy and Dale in eons.

Bill, I have been meaning to tell you that the photo of your mom and dad, next to the car, looks uncannily like my mother and father when they were in their mid 30's or early 40's.

You have done yourself proud on this hub.

Great job!


Mary Craig from New York on August 19, 2014:

Your habit of hitting the nail on the head was never more evident. The ebb and flow of life that carries us all with it.

I've been missing of late due to my back issues but I'm slowly coming back and what a great hub to start with!

Voted up, useful, awesome, and interesting.

Ann Carr from SW England on August 19, 2014:

We all have to move on, I guess, just like you say in this piece.

I'm trying to branch out a bit too but I'm happy to stay at hubpages in my usual hit and miss way! I'll miss your daily contributions but I know you have to go onwards and upwards and I've no doubt you'll do that admirably and with great success. I hope you reap all the rewards you richly deserve, bill. I also hope we remain friends for a long time.


Brie Hoffman from Manhattan on August 19, 2014:

Yes, life goes by way to fast which is why we have to celebrate the good times and move on from the bad. Very good hub, voted up and beautiful.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on August 19, 2014:

Bill, you are excellent with these nostalgic reflections. Thanks for including some of the difficult memories; joy is not complete without the shadow of sorrow. Thanks for a great read!

Larry Kitzmann. on August 19, 2014:

Amen my friend -----Amen.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

It is indeed, Michelle. Thank you!

Michelle Liew from Singapore on August 19, 2014:

To pay our dues is the way we grow!!!

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Delores, thank you so much. This is me doing the writing that I love...I'll have to do more of it.

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Very true, Carol...I wouldn't change any of it despite the occasional heartache. Good to see you as always my friend. Have a great Tuesday.

Dolores Monet from East Coast, United States on August 19, 2014:

Hi billy, what a beautiful hub. That song always make me cry and your use of those sentiments is awesome!

carol stanley from Arizona on August 19, 2014:

This hub made me think about the different stages we go through in life. None are perfect and each has compensations of their own. Sometimes I wish I were young again to have a world free from problems and issues. Age does bring all that. Each decade has its own issues and good stuff

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Thanks, Sha! I have no regrets. Regrets are for the unenlightened, and you can quote me on that. :)

Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Ann, you are a doll, and I mean that in the nicest way. Thank you! I am moving more towards this type of writing. I'll be on HP less starting next week....three days a week as a matter of fact. It's time for Bill to move upwards and see if he's got what it takes to make it in this business...but I'll be here to interact with you whenever you post. I believe in the loyalty of friends. :) Thank you my dear friend.


Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on August 19, 2014:

I wouldn't give up a single moment of what I experienced as I was paying my dues. To learn is to live and to live is to learn. I can say most of my memories are happy ones. Sure I've experience pain, humiliation, sadness, and death of loved ones. But without them the happy memories wouldn't shine as brightly.

Ann Carr from SW England on August 19, 2014:

Such a celebration of life, bill! All the wonders and all the heartaches - but you're right, we miss it all. The best is that we learn from it.

Great hub; I love these that you write with all this rhythm, bowling through life and looking this way and that.

'we learn lessons harder than forged steel' - what a great line!

I'll emphasise once again that you're a poet - How else could you write a line like this; 'Young guns, gunnin’ young, and outrunning life itself'? Don't ever again say you can't write poetry!

And how I love that Beatles song - one of their most beautiful.

Dare I say it again? - Brilliant!

Have a great day, bill!


Bill Holland (author) from Olympia, WA on August 19, 2014:

Janine, I love it....I would have loved to have heard your rendition. :) Thank you dear friend and Happy Tuesday to you.

Janine Huldie from New York, New York on August 19, 2014:

Bill, I know the feeling well and even with the bad that was indeed mixed in each stage, I still miss some much from years gone by. And by the way, the song you choose here was one that I actually had to sing during my graduation from elementary school and totally brought me back and then some. Have a wonderful Tuesday now.

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