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Stupid Girl

Joanne Kristin has diplomas in Journalism and Arts and Science from Fanshawe College in Canada.


People ARE liars.

Not purposely. They're just protecting their heart. Oh, and what an organ that is. If you could define beauty in one word; "heart" would be the definition. Why? It's unpredictable. It has no path. It goes where it wants. It has biillions of imperfections yet flawless all at once.

We live in a world so perfectly round, What makes us human is the ability to see in shapes far beyond diameters, and exact radiuses. There are no perfect lines or exact statistics in life. There is no precision. There are people. There are lines. There are people who make these lines make sense. Those people will never understand that even though you could probably figure out how to put a round peg in a square hole, it's not right. It was never meant to be.

Rules may be meant to be broken. Science bends those rules every day, but science never breaks them.

There are colours. There are rules. There are measurements and shit called gravity. These are there. These things will always be there, but close your eyes for one second, and watch your heart guide your mind to places no science could ever take you.

I don't colour within the lines. And I say that proudly. My heart is stupid. My stupid choices are lead by it. I cannot stop it.

One day I hope it's powerful enough to lead me to a point. A shape. A place where I can circle. Not because I want to be there, because happiness lies with consistency. Because circles never end.

A perfect picture. Drawn out for me. And all I have to do is colour it.

Up is up. Down is down.

I'm not sorry I don't agree with that.

My heart doesn't play by rules. These rules. Any rules. Love isn't a circle. It will never be a circle. My heart will never speak in circles, and as much as my head tries to, I will never be mathematically inclined. I will never be able to walk a straight line. I will never be able to follow a pattern.

Doesn't mean I can't see it.

My heart is warm. My heart will alway be warm. There's nothing wrong with that. My ups can downs, my downs can be left. My lines are wavy, my life is a mess, but that's okay. I can live with that. Why? Because colouring within the lines is boring anyway.

I don't know what I want. I know what is expected is never enough. I know it through your eye. I see it through mine.

I know if I keep looking at it like that, I will always lose.

I believe in love. No matter how many times I've tried to colour between the lines, I can't. Love is the one thing that's stopped me. It's the one thing that makes me hold on to what really makes me human.

There are statistics, numbers, science. Proven facts, that tell us to think with our head.

I think with my heart. I can't help it.

I will always be a stupid girl.

© 2017 Joanne Kristin

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