Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 12 years.

Still believe in the idea of true love and happily ever after

Okay, not as big and grand as fairy tales though

Real life was never quite so romantic and glamorous

Had a lot of messy complications and rollercoaster moments

Ups and downs at a continuous rate of complete madness

Enjoyed the idea of having a partner to laugh with and support

In equal fashions just like any potential personal merger

Growing a little bitter at the mere thought of sacrificing individuality

Once believed that I had a grasp of maintaining a relationship

Turned out it was complete fabrication from the word go

Have no clue how some people get so lucky in finding their one

While others are stuck kissing frogs and getting their hearts broken

Didn't seem fair to buy into some greeting card delusion of romance

Knew that there was some truth to the repeated myths

Haven't been so blessed in finding my own version of lasting happiness

Thought that a rational person could guide their way through a romantic connection

Under the misguided notion that a novice knew what it was about

Had the relationships concept wrapped up in the palm of their intuitive hands

Guided by instinct and respect for other people by forging ahead on that

Sentiment that wasn't truly shared by anyone next to or behind

A lonely feeling to be doing the work of two people

On different paths and differing priorities

Aspirations for a future grounded in a degree of realism

With some travel time thrown in as an added bonus

Starting to realize that I don't know the meaning of love

Don't know what makes a relationship a healthy one

And what would be considered a complete failure

Thought that my last relationship was a winner

Turned out it was a losing hand from the get-go

A lousy deck of cards mixed together for a game

Couldn't use anything given to me by the dealer

Paired with a more experienced player to show me the ropes

Deluded into believing that their guiding hands would help

Make this new and terrifying world all the more comforting

What a crock that turned out to be in every aspect

Realized that maturity and being knowledgeable meant nothing

When you don't have the manners and decency to cope with

Every bad hand given to you by either life or the dealer of the day

Disgusted that I had placed my faith on a game that was never headed

In any sort of direction; except of the separate variety

Have little faith in society as a whole

Don't trust that the idea of love existed for me

Starting to think that I was meant to be alone

No one out there in the flesh could handle such an off-color character

Destined to be a party of one for good

Given up on falling in love at this time

Not capable of sharing my heart with anyone else

Still repairing it from the last go around

Rebelling against the happy couples as they hold hands

Ready to throw some eggs at them and laugh at the mess

Don't believe in happily ever after for me at this juncture

Only thinking of self-love and nothing else.

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on January 17, 2020:

Heather,

I doubt you are destined to be alone, but i get it.

These situations make one feel like that.

I don't know if you ever get on you tube...but Mark Rosenfeld has a few good videos that might help you see its okay to have your own standards and you can have a great relationship.

I wish you the best because a heartache like this can cause you to shut down. I know first hand from my own feelings.

Great write.