Sitting With My Pain

Sitting with my pain

I cry with my pain long enough

Trying to be at peace with her

Wondering when she will come to live with me

She talks with low tone

She no longer chats

I am what you wanted me to be

Your love changed me

This heart was free, to be touched, to be hurt, broken and mended

I ask if I should leave now

She says I can provided love is in the heart

I wish I could be

I sat with my sorrow, who will ever look after me

I offered a heart to a bleeding heart

But she never took it, instead she broke it

I wanted her to heal, she said she didn’t heal

I went and cared, but why did she stay

She mourned and cried, showing me her terrible wounds

I looked and realized a lot of pain, regrets, grief, and dead memories

I felt the pain and started taking the deep breath, to forget about the pain

My head was a paradise of dead but painful memories

It will take me forever to recover from the mess

When I finally loved her, my heart stopped bleeding

She was relieved and she thanked me for the relief

The next day she left smiling, joy replaced sorrow and pain

I sat with my worries

Full of insecurities

We shared a cup of milk

When it was all cool, I asked her

When and how she became part of my heart

She smiled and said

It’s because life had destroyed her

Was I really the cure?

But I didn’t want to chase her so unceremoniously

So I gave her my chin, she kissed me gently and then left

Told her we need not to be anymore

And asked her to be my best friend

I was not ashamed to be with her, she was not ashamed to be with me

And this is how, I found peace in myself

© 2020 Ian Muiruri Wanyua