She's Too Hot: Comedy Poetry

Updated on April 4, 2018
cam8510 profile image

Chris has been writing poetry for 28 years and though his focus is short fiction, he has had one piece published.

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She's Too Hot

She enters the theater

all alight.

Before the film started,

My date arrived.


My first date,

With her that is.

I’m having second thoughts,

It’s the flaming red hair biz.


She sits down,

My stomach churns.

Hot seat for the hot,

Her popcorn is burned.


Her Snickers melts.

Chocolate splatters.

She’s really that hot,

Music by the Platters.


Smoke, they sing,

Gets in Your Eyes.

Flaming red,

I tell no lies.


Lights go out,

The film airs.

People grumble,

I think it’s her hair.


Flaming red,

I hold her hand.

But she’s too hot,

For this poor man.


I pour my coke

Upon her hair

To stop the grumbling

To turn the stares.


Someone yells fire,

we already know.

She’s too hot.

The curtains drop low.


Lights come on,

I look at her seat.

A pile of ashes,

Is all I see.


I sweep them off,

get up to leave.

“Hey, where’s your girl?”

Who? Ashley?


I brushed her off.

Too hot for me.

Questions & Answers

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      • cam8510 profile image
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        Chris Mills 6 weeks ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Frank, sorry I missed your visit. I'm happy to have set you ablaze with laughter. Thanks for the visit.

      • cam8510 profile image
        Author

        Chris Mills 6 weeks ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Li-Jen Hew, Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it, especially that last part. Pretty extreme, right?

      • Frank Atanacio profile image

        Frank Atanacio 7 weeks ago from Shelton

        LMAO... U have to admit I was burning with laughter...

      • Li-Jen Hew profile image

        Li-Jen Hew 7 weeks ago from Malaysia

        @Chris Cute poem! The last part is the best!

      • cam8510 profile image
        Author

        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Who said I was bald????

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Awww Cam..no worries. I think bald men are sexy!

      • cam8510 profile image
        Author

        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Linda, I am so happy and relieved you and others see the humor in this piece. I was thinking it would come across as weird or bizarre. Maybe it does in a way, but there seems to be a humorous element as well. Thanks for reading and for your comment.

      • AliciaC profile image

        Linda Crampton 2 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

        This is a funny and creative poem, Chris! The photo is a great match for the poem.

      • cam8510 profile image
        Author

        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Paula, So you're telling me your sister is hot. It runs in the family, right? I can't imagine having my hair catch on fire. I mean, I really can't imagine it because I don't have any. Thanks for stopping in. You are always welcome here.

      • cam8510 profile image
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        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Gypsy Rose Lee, I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you commented. It's always nice to see you.

      • cam8510 profile image
        Author

        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Thank you, Yves

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 2 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Cam,,, This is FUNNY! However, it brought back a crazy memory. Maybe you knew my sister! At a beautiful dinner party once, candles included, she stood to reach across the table to a guest~she had long lovely hair~ the flame caught her hair and the "hairspray" helped to ignite the side of her hair. Six people threw their water at her!!! LOL.

        Oh, thanks for the memories....I'm smiling. Peace, Paula

      • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

        Gypsy Rose Lee 2 months ago from Riga, Latvia

        Loved this. Brings a smile.

      • CaribTales profile image

        Dora Weithers 2 months ago from The Caribbean

        "She’s really that hot." Funny but also makes me think that life offers some of everything--sometimes ice, sometimes fire. We leave what we don't want (like the poet did), and wait for what we want. Thanks for sharing your talent.

      • savvydating profile image

        Yves 2 months ago

        Chris, I believe that when inspiration comes to us that way, it is meant to be. I am glad you followed up.

      • cam8510 profile image
        Author

        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Larry, I'm glad you see the humor. I've never dated anyone that hot.

      • cam8510 profile image
        Author

        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Yves, I had this sudden inspiration to write about going out on a date with a girl whose hair was on fire. Where oh Where did that come from? At first I was going to make it a flash fiction, but switched to poetry for the same unknown reason. I love writing. It is so magical that way.

      • Larry Rankin profile image

        Larry Rankin 2 months ago from Oklahoma

        Lol, that girls on fire!

        Very humorous. Wonderful imagery.

      • cam8510 profile image
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        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        Shola Akeredolu, I do not believe we have met. Welcome to my hub, and thank you for your comment. I most appreciate you pointing out the lack of punctuation. I posted this just before leaving for work today and did some last minute editing. Punctuation slipped through the cracks. Thanks again.

      • cam8510 profile image
        Author

        Chris Mills 2 months ago from Missoula, Montana at least until August 2018

        manatita, Sizzler is much better than fizzler. I think I will write a very, very short story and then attempt to turn it into poetry like this one. This is already of that sort. Thanks for your comment.

      • savvydating profile image

        Yves 2 months ago

        How perfectly whimsical and charming. I found this poem highly entertaining. You're awfully good at this sort of poetry, Chris.

        I admit to feeling sorry for Ashley in the end. Poor girl couldn't help being herself!

      • sholybrown4u profile image

        Shola Akeredolu 2 months ago from Nigeria

        Nice poem. I love it. The punctuation though...

      • manatita44 profile image

        manatita44 2 months ago from london

        Ha ha. I suppose you'd call this one a 'sizzler.'

        Too hot for me too.

        An interesting beat ... kind of rap, hip -hop, etc

        Go for it, Bro.

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