She's Too Hot: Comedy Poetry

Updated on April 4, 2018
cam8510 profile image

Chris has been writing poetry for 28 years and though his focus is short fiction, he has had one piece published.

Source

She's Too Hot

She enters the theater

all alight.

Before the film started,

My date arrived.


My first date,

With her that is.

I’m having second thoughts,

It’s the flaming red hair biz.


She sits down,

My stomach churns.

Hot seat for the hot,

Her popcorn is burned.


Her Snickers melts.

Chocolate splatters.

She’s really that hot,

Music by the Platters.


Smoke, they sing,

Gets in Your Eyes.

Flaming red,

I tell no lies.


Lights go out,

The film airs.

People grumble,

I think it’s her hair.


Flaming red,

I hold her hand.

But she’s too hot,

For this poor man.


I pour my coke

Upon her hair

To stop the grumbling

To turn the stares.


Someone yells fire,

we already know.

She’s too hot.

The curtains drop low.


Lights come on,

I look at her seat.

A pile of ashes,

Is all I see.


I sweep them off,

get up to leave.

“Hey, where’s your girl?”

Who? Ashley?


I brushed her off.

Too hot for me.

Questions & Answers

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      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        3 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Shannon, I don't know where it came from. But it sure was fun to write. Glad you enjoyed it.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        3 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Shauna, I'm glad you liked it. Yes, Ashley. What else? Sorry I missed your visit. I was backpacking and camping for the weekend.

      • shanmarie profile image

        Shannon Henry 

        3 months ago from Texas

        Oh how funny. What I spied this clever piece?

      • bravewarrior profile image

        Shauna L Bowling 

        3 months ago from Central Florida

        Too funny! Ashley?? Very clever, Chris!

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        7 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Frank, sorry I missed your visit. I'm happy to have set you ablaze with laughter. Thanks for the visit.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        7 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Li-Jen Hew, Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it, especially that last part. Pretty extreme, right?

      • Frank Atanacio profile image

        Frank Atanacio 

        7 months ago from Shelton

        LMAO... U have to admit I was burning with laughter...

      • Li-Jen Hew profile image

        Li-Jen Hew 

        7 months ago

        @Chris Cute poem! The last part is the best!

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Who said I was bald????

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 

        8 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Awww Cam..no worries. I think bald men are sexy!

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Linda, I am so happy and relieved you and others see the humor in this piece. I was thinking it would come across as weird or bizarre. Maybe it does in a way, but there seems to be a humorous element as well. Thanks for reading and for your comment.

      • AliciaC profile image

        Linda Crampton 

        8 months ago from British Columbia, Canada

        This is a funny and creative poem, Chris! The photo is a great match for the poem.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Paula, So you're telling me your sister is hot. It runs in the family, right? I can't imagine having my hair catch on fire. I mean, I really can't imagine it because I don't have any. Thanks for stopping in. You are always welcome here.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Gypsy Rose Lee, I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you commented. It's always nice to see you.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Dora, thank you for seeing the humor and also for digging in a little deeper.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Thank you, Yves

      • fpherj48 profile image

        Paula 

        8 months ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

        Cam,,, This is FUNNY! However, it brought back a crazy memory. Maybe you knew my sister! At a beautiful dinner party once, candles included, she stood to reach across the table to a guest~she had long lovely hair~ the flame caught her hair and the "hairspray" helped to ignite the side of her hair. Six people threw their water at her!!! LOL.

        Oh, thanks for the memories....I'm smiling. Peace, Paula

      • Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

        Gypsy Rose Lee 

        8 months ago from Riga, Latvia

        Loved this. Brings a smile.

      • CaribTales profile image

        Dora Weithers 

        8 months ago from The Caribbean

        "She’s really that hot." Funny but also makes me think that life offers some of everything--sometimes ice, sometimes fire. We leave what we don't want (like the poet did), and wait for what we want. Thanks for sharing your talent.

      • savvydating profile image

        Yves 

        8 months ago

        Chris, I believe that when inspiration comes to us that way, it is meant to be. I am glad you followed up.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Larry, I'm glad you see the humor. I've never dated anyone that hot.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Yves, I had this sudden inspiration to write about going out on a date with a girl whose hair was on fire. Where oh Where did that come from? At first I was going to make it a flash fiction, but switched to poetry for the same unknown reason. I love writing. It is so magical that way.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        Shola Akeredolu, I do not believe we have met. Welcome to my hub, and thank you for your comment. I most appreciate you pointing out the lack of punctuation. I posted this just before leaving for work today and did some last minute editing. Punctuation slipped through the cracks. Thanks again.

      • cam8510 profile imageAUTHOR

        Chris Mills 

        8 months ago from Flagstaff, AZ

        manatita, Sizzler is much better than fizzler. I think I will write a very, very short story and then attempt to turn it into poetry like this one. This is already of that sort. Thanks for your comment.

      • savvydating profile image

        Yves 

        8 months ago

        How perfectly whimsical and charming. I found this poem highly entertaining. You're awfully good at this sort of poetry, Chris.

        I admit to feeling sorry for Ashley in the end. Poor girl couldn't help being herself!

      • sholybrown4u profile image

        Shola Akeredolu 

        8 months ago from Nigeria

        Nice poem. I love it. The punctuation though...

      • manatita44 profile image

        manatita44 

        8 months ago from london

        Ha ha. I suppose you'd call this one a 'sizzler.'

        Too hot for me too.

        An interesting beat ... kind of rap, hip -hop, etc

        Go for it, Bro.

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