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She's Too Hot: Comedy Poetry

Chris has written poetry for 28 years though he focuses on short fiction. But watch out for the occasional twisted nursery rhyme.

shes-too-hot-comedy-poetry

She's Too Hot

She enters the theater

all alight.

Before the film started,

My date arrived.


My first date,

With her that is.

I’m having second thoughts,

It’s the flaming red hair biz.


She sits down,

My stomach churns.

Hot seat for the hot,

Her popcorn is burned.


Her Snickers melts.

Chocolate splatters.

She’s really that hot,

Music by the Platters.


Smoke, they sing,

Gets in Your Eyes.

Flaming red,

I tell no lies.


Lights go out,

The film airs.

People grumble,

I think it’s her hair.


Flaming red,

I hold her hand.

But she’s too hot,

For this poor man.


I pour my coke

Upon her hair

To stop the grumbling

To turn the stares.


Someone yells fire,

we already know.

She’s too hot.

The curtains drop low.


Lights come on,

I look at her seat.

A pile of ashes,

Is all I see.


I sweep them off,

get up to leave.

“Hey, where’s your girl?”

Who? Ashley?


I brushed her off.

Too hot for me.

Comments

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on August 12, 2018:

Shannon, I don't know where it came from. But it sure was fun to write. Glad you enjoyed it.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on August 12, 2018:

Shauna, I'm glad you liked it. Yes, Ashley. What else? Sorry I missed your visit. I was backpacking and camping for the weekend.

Shannon Henry from Texas on August 10, 2018:

Oh how funny. What I spied this clever piece?

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on August 10, 2018:

Too funny! Ashley?? Very clever, Chris!

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on April 02, 2018:

Frank, sorry I missed your visit. I'm happy to have set you ablaze with laughter. Thanks for the visit.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on April 02, 2018:

Li-Jen Hew, Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it, especially that last part. Pretty extreme, right?

Frank Atanacio from Shelton on March 30, 2018:

LMAO... U have to admit I was burning with laughter...

Li-Jen Hew on March 30, 2018:

@Chris Cute poem! The last part is the best!

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 07, 2018:

Who said I was bald????

Suzie from Carson City on March 07, 2018:

Awww Cam..no worries. I think bald men are sexy!

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 06, 2018:

Linda, I am so happy and relieved you and others see the humor in this piece. I was thinking it would come across as weird or bizarre. Maybe it does in a way, but there seems to be a humorous element as well. Thanks for reading and for your comment.

Linda Crampton from British Columbia, Canada on March 06, 2018:

This is a funny and creative poem, Chris! The photo is a great match for the poem.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 06, 2018:

Paula, So you're telling me your sister is hot. It runs in the family, right? I can't imagine having my hair catch on fire. I mean, I really can't imagine it because I don't have any. Thanks for stopping in. You are always welcome here.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 06, 2018:

Gypsy Rose Lee, I'm glad you liked it, and I'm glad you commented. It's always nice to see you.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 06, 2018:

Dora, thank you for seeing the humor and also for digging in a little deeper.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 06, 2018:

Thank you, Yves

Suzie from Carson City on March 06, 2018:

Cam,,, This is FUNNY! However, it brought back a crazy memory. Maybe you knew my sister! At a beautiful dinner party once, candles included, she stood to reach across the table to a guest~she had long lovely hair~ the flame caught her hair and the "hairspray" helped to ignite the side of her hair. Six people threw their water at her!!! LOL.

Oh, thanks for the memories....I'm smiling. Peace, Paula

Gypsy Rose Lee from Daytona Beach, Florida on March 06, 2018:

Loved this. Brings a smile.

Dora Weithers from The Caribbean on March 06, 2018:

"She’s really that hot." Funny but also makes me think that life offers some of everything--sometimes ice, sometimes fire. We leave what we don't want (like the poet did), and wait for what we want. Thanks for sharing your talent.

Yves on March 05, 2018:

Chris, I believe that when inspiration comes to us that way, it is meant to be. I am glad you followed up.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 05, 2018:

Larry, I'm glad you see the humor. I've never dated anyone that hot.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 05, 2018:

Yves, I had this sudden inspiration to write about going out on a date with a girl whose hair was on fire. Where oh Where did that come from? At first I was going to make it a flash fiction, but switched to poetry for the same unknown reason. I love writing. It is so magical that way.

Larry Rankin from Oklahoma on March 05, 2018:

Lol, that girls on fire!

Very humorous. Wonderful imagery.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 05, 2018:

Shola Akeredolu, I do not believe we have met. Welcome to my hub, and thank you for your comment. I most appreciate you pointing out the lack of punctuation. I posted this just before leaving for work today and did some last minute editing. Punctuation slipped through the cracks. Thanks again.

Chris Mills (author) from Traverse City, MI on March 05, 2018:

manatita, Sizzler is much better than fizzler. I think I will write a very, very short story and then attempt to turn it into poetry like this one. This is already of that sort. Thanks for your comment.

Yves on March 05, 2018:

How perfectly whimsical and charming. I found this poem highly entertaining. You're awfully good at this sort of poetry, Chris.

I admit to feeling sorry for Ashley in the end. Poor girl couldn't help being herself!

Shola Akeredolu from Nigeria on March 05, 2018:

Nice poem. I love it. The punctuation though...

manatita44 from london on March 05, 2018:

Ha ha. I suppose you'd call this one a 'sizzler.'

Too hot for me too.

An interesting beat ... kind of rap, hip -hop, etc

Go for it, Bro.