Self, This One's For You

If we weren't here, where would we be?

I often ask myself how life would be without colors? And I always see beauty still lingering in everything I sight. But then, I saw myself with that thought, so I pushed it aside.

I often ask myself how places appeal to emotions. And I always go to a place where memories keep rushing back the moment I step. But then, I saw myself, so I ran away.

I often ask myself how minds connect with people. And I always observe how people leave traces in each other's skin and marks you can never forget. But then, I saw myself, bound to hold someone, so I turned around.

I often ask myself how people can stand still during rough times. And I always feel the breaking point, I see the falling, and I see the battle within that needs to be won. But then, I saw myself so I closed my eyes.

I often ask myself how mirrors can make you realize. And I always interest on looking myself in front of the mirror, staring right through me, as if I don't know who I am. But then, I saw myself so I stepped aside.

I often ask myself how eyes can never lie. And I always hear that eyes don't lie, I took the courage to stare at someone's eyes. But then, someone saw myself, so I hid.

I often ask myself how the sun and moon can never shine together. And I always wait for the sunrises and sunsets, to see that they may never see each other, things are supposed to be like that, but they are always astonishingly surreal to the eyes. But then, I saw myself, this time I took my time to stare.

I often feel scared to let my empty parts shine, but that's what makes me. I hide to unsee myself from the mirrors of your eyes, but this is everything you have to see to see me.

I often feel left with rough times and marks, but that keeps me forward—a reminder that I have to let go. I close myself to remove the sight of the traces on my skin, but I have to embrace my flaws to move forward.

I often feel alone in places where I am only left with memories, but these memories are the only the living thoughts I can always keep in my mind, my heart. But these memories are great reminders.

And I often tell myself I'm brittle at the parts where I wish I was strong. And it hits me, that whether you see me at sunrises or you see me at sunsets, if you look closely, it is still surreal. I'll always feel surreal—to be loved, to be seen, to be appreciated, to be enough.

Happy birthday, self. Cheers. You did great, always. Ride the waves.