Skip to main content

Self Painted Muse

Alexandra Lang is a 25 year old performer currently traveling the world, writing about her time around the universe.


On my days off, I wear layers of silk, and stay in them until dusk.

On my days off, I apply my lipstick with a paintbrush, and become my own muse.

On my days off, he still calls me honey, and I swear I can taste the words as they escape into the air.

How many heartbreaks does it take to get to the center of the problem?

And was I always, or never the problem?

How satisfied I am knowing that I never took a second of you for granted.

When you kissed me goodnight and closed the door, I only threw the door back open for one final kiss because I knew it was going to be our one final kiss.

Call it a premonition. Call it a prediction.

A few months later, you call to say you forgive me, but for what?

I bet true forgiveness feels like holding your first sparkler, knowing it'll be beautiful for a short while, until you have to ignite the next fuse.

You are not forgiven for covering up my words with your lips, and expecting an invitation back into my mind.

I recognize your voice, and it will not be used to take mine away.

© 2021 Xandra Lang