Searching for Tidings of Comfort and Peace

Have come to the realization that it's time to start

Looking inward and not outward for what's needed

To feel like a decent human being once again

Before recent world events and the domestic dust-up

Instead of seeking approval and justification from others

Need to find it on the inside where the damaged heart

Beat a little differently this time around for the moment

Often wondered why these little internal shake-ups keep happening

Searched for outside means of comfort to only find annoyance

Fed up with having to be the ones to sweep up the broken pieces

Need to find the glue and the patience to put this puzzle back together

Knowing that it can happen and rushing it to be just so made it worse

Felt shame of caving into these feelings at a tumultuous time for all

Entered new and unprecedented circumstances where normal vanished

Craved things tangible and otherwise that felt comfortable and safe

Security blankets metaphorical and a little more literal to keep on going

Realized that this supposed grown up needed to do just that

Verbal kicks in the butt not going to help at this juncture

Wondered what it took to find some sort of equilibrium

Perfection was out of the question; a concept that never existed

Chose to wear my grandmother's pearl necklace bequeathed to me

As a way to feel her strength close to me navigating testy waters

Embraced her confidence and ability to survive anything

Missed her greatly because she was a constant form of support

Hoped that she found her peace up in the eternal clouds

Enjoying time with other departed loved ones

Making other angels laugh at her jokes

Giving off her good vibrations to the ones that remained on earth

Letting them know that they were under her angelic protection

Fully aware that this bump in the road only a temporary one

Patience just not a virtue that was ever ingrained in my DNA

Taking one step at a time; learning to accept the flaws

Trying not to take strong criticism too much to heart

Pointless to change the minds of the unchangeable

Ready to move on from the incredible sinking feeling

Stepping into the costume of the survivor always born to be

Sooner or later.