Sayonara, Wonderland
Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.
Surprise, surprise. Here it goes again and again.
Another go around on the slippery slope of the dumped
Eager to always help others; not getting same thing in return
Downtrodden to the point near disgraceful steps
Won't break any rules of female empowerment in slightest
Have some form of dignity left after the demolition process
Only been three months, finally got the permits to rebuild
Searching for proper and healthy materials to restore the heart
Back to its former and romantic glory before all this occurred
Following the steps accordingly to the imaginary guidebook
Placed in front of me one day and told to read it cover to cover
Always the diligent student even after graduating college in 2006
Doing what I'm told and practicing the studies of a newly single lady
Taking it slowly each day and giving some room to breathe
Only human after all; mistakes can be made by the best of us
Good intentions haven't always gone according to plan
Been doing so well in my recovery program and making strides
Working on positive reinforcement and exercises
Writing about things that sometimes made me smile
Not focusing on the ones that upset me greatly
Had a fleeting impulse when checking social media
Went into my search engine and found a name
Blast from the not so distant past that opened a few doors
Allowed some minor old wounds to be reopened
Within a matter of seconds fell down the biggest rabbit hole in existence
Checking the pages connected to the repeat offender
Whose page was completely blocked from my prying eyes
Have not lifted the ban from checking into his comings and goings
No desire to go backwards into the bottomless pit I just climbed out of
Working extra hard to scrub their name and their close associates
From total social media existence; guilt by association sadly
Easier that way to just start fresh and not have any reminders of the past
An internet mind eraser to chase away the painful remnants
Drastic in measure to throw guilt on their siblings and other friends
Don't mean to be so rough in the matter
Just know where their loyalties will end up going to and it won't be me
Made some good memories with those family members
Will never regret meeting them at all; wished I was able to say goodbye
Tell them that it was nice to have known them
Shame it didn't work out between the Mad Hatter and this version of Alice
Won't get that opportunity because it was taken away by someone else
Nobody's fault but theirs of course
Time to climb out of this hole and move on to bigger and better plans
New year, new goals.