SLAVE TO WORK

The author is a Registered Nurse, Teacher II in English and has worked as an Operations Manager in a BPO company for 7 years.

I am a slave to work

as soon as i realized it

it dawned on me that i stay in the office for 10-12 hours

but still, i feel it's not enough.

I'm starting to contemplate if this is still healthy for me

my bosses respects me and trust me w/ the job

but at the back of my mind for how long?

we are human and so are they

I will make mistakes

will that overshadow my devotion at work?

they might forget that i was once their best employee

I guess career-wise one of my greatest fear is to feel unappreciated

to suddenly realize that i wasted my extra 2-4 hours everyday

i wasted my energy to keep up and sustain my team

I wasted the love and dedication i gave to my work

truly, work is like a lover too.

if you love it, no amount of time or dedication can amount to how much you can give

but i guess it's a two way process as well

if you started to feel that the relationship is drifting apart

then you feel doubt.

You become restless.

You protect yourself.

You want to protect your heart from being broken.

then sadly, you found a true love but it was not enough.

,,, in times like this the only thing i can do is PRAY.

slowly i will let go and to live...

not LIVE to WORK

but WORK to LIVE.

Perhaps I just need space rather than reach my saturation point.

I have a disease.

I am sick of loving my work... my team.. my co-employees

I am hurt when the company is hurt

I hurt more when my co-employees are hurt.

I have a habit

a habit of giving my 100 more, rather than just 100%

a habit of taking it all in even when my mind has been exhausted

a habit,,, a bad habit.

this is still part of maturity... Iguess.