Skip to main content

Scared of My Demons

scared-of-my-demons

Am scared of being alone., being by myself and all I have to do is talk to myself . I'd rather just be in the company of strangers and not say a word, their presence is good enough to keep me in check.
.
I almost thought I was going mad last night, truth is I over think much and maybe that's why I be talking to myself. There's a person I really like, I just can't figure out if the feeling's mutual. And I don't really wanna screw things up but I think I'd be happier if we were together. I even wrote a note but I just can't hand it over cause am scared. Scared of screwing things up and scared of losing someone I actually like.
.
And its that dark place I try to avoid, that place where am no longer arguing with myself but rather with my demons. They enjoy it and really take their time making every single second seem like an hour.
.
And as much as I hate it, being me is the only true thing I might actually be happy about, deep down. Not the demons, just alone talking to myself but in my head, that way am hurting no one and am not risking hurting myself.
.
Am all I have in the end. And I am what I am even if try running or hiding from. Not broken, just a little weird. Just need to hurt myself a little bit to seem a bit normal to the normal people.
.
That person I like will be receiving the note, I just hope those demons in my head can deal with it.

© 2022 Amani Utembu

Related Articles