John values the use of humour and enjoys writing and reading limericks and jokes. He is a fan of Dr. Seuss, Edward Lear and Shel Silverstein

A Short Introduction

Most of us have experienced some form of road rage at one time or another, whether just angry insults as someone passes us, or full on physical confrontation. Some people are just always tense and a fight waiting to happen, with just the smallest incident setting them off.

I have never written about road rage before so I thought it was about time. This poem is my attempt to address the issue in a semi-satirical fashion.

satireˈsatʌɪə noun

'the use of humour, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues." - Dictionary.com

Road Rage

Sunday drivers going slow,

No need to rush or speed.

Those behind don't care to know,

They'd love to take the lead.

Impatience quickly breeds contempt,

The ire, it churns inside.

No one on the road's exempt,

They're all there for the ride.

"Where's an overtaking lane?

There must be one ahead.

Going slow drives me insane,

It's messing with my head."

Slow driving causes anxiousness

To those who're stuck behind,

And this soon turns to recklessness

By the bored, impatient mind.

Don't try to overtake too soon,

Wait for the broken line.

Passing now could spell your doom,

Be sure to take your time.

Make sure you always indicate

When you're about to turn,

Or road rage you'll initiate

As tempers start to burn.

Then maybe when you stop at lights

You'll get a nasty shock.

There's someone itching for a fight,

Some overmuscled jock.

Who feels that you have wronged him

Or somehow made him late.

Maybe his session in the gym,

And now he's filled with hate.

Try not to provoke him more,

Or join in any fight.

Make sure that you lock your door,

With windows wound up tight.

Let him stomp and rant, be crass,

Irate and acting mean.

Then quickly step upon the gas

As soon as lights turn green.

Leave him coughing in your fumes

As you drive off unfazed,

So the last thing that he sees of you

Is your middle finger, raised!

Author's Note

I know what you are all thinking, "Here we go again!" Well, I can't help it, ok? I'm on a concept that seems to work for me so I'm sticking to it. (see me grinning)

The latest book I chose from my shelves is "Road Rage" by Ruth Rendell one of the world's most popular and prolific novelists.

This book is one of a series of Inspector Wexford Mysteries, and here is one review:

"With immaculate control, Ruth Rendell builds a menacing crescendo of tension and horror that keeps you guessing right up to the brilliantly paced finale."

-Good Housekeeping -

I couldn't have described it better myself.

© 2018 John Hansen

Comments

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on September 30, 2019:

No one seems to have time or patience anymore, Brenda. Thank you for reading this and sharing your experiences.

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on September 30, 2019:

Road rage seems to be going strong in this little town I live within...alwsys someone in a rush or someone with no turn signal.

Traveling the freeways used to be a delight, but now with everyone in a rush, the traffic jams seem unbearable and everywhere one looks you can see someone veing rude or getting hot under the collar.

Enjoyed the read, and yes put that pedal to the middle when the light turns green.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 20, 2018:

Thanks for reading this Dana, thank you for your important comment. Yes, road rage is a serious matter and becoming increasingly worse. Other than hefty fines and the threat of jail I’m not sure what can be done to curb it. Why are people so quick to anger?

Dana Tate from LOS ANGELES on August 20, 2018:

Cute poem with a strong message. Although this was a good laugh road rage is serious. Many have lost their life simply because someone was impatient. I hope people get it. I loved your message with a twist of humor. You always deliver.

Randi Benlulu from Mesa, AZ on August 17, 2018:

Thanks, John. Luckily nothing bad happened. People are crazy drivers around here and i am in the middle if a retirement community so there's that!

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 17, 2018:

Thanks, Genna. Glad you can relate to this and enjoyed the poem. Yes, Arnold could come in handy.

Genna East from Massachusetts, USA on August 17, 2018:

I commute to work each day and there are times, I'm ashamed to admit, when I wish I'd had a virtual image of Arnold sitting in the passenger seat -- locked and loaded. (I love that photo.) All kidding aside, I loved this poem.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 17, 2018:

Wow! Randi, so sorry to hear of your recent road rage incidents. I hope you got out of them unscathed. Strange how coincidences like you his happen.

Randi Benlulu from Mesa, AZ on August 17, 2018:

It's really funny that you just wrote this article when I personally had 2 experiences the jast 2 days that could have led to serious road rage!

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 17, 2018:

Thank you, Bill. Yes, the new format and guidelines take some getting used to but I think I have settled into something that seems to work. Cheers mate. Yes, gotta spread the work around a little.

Bill Russo from Cape Cod on August 17, 2018:

Great job as usual John. I'm not a fan of the new site that's posing as Hubpages, but as always I'm a fan of John Hansen! Good idea to do a little showcasing with Facebook. More arrows in the quiver means more hits!

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Yes, that is good advice, Mark. Try to see the funny side and smile when the muscled sloth approaches. Thanks for reading.

Mark Tulin from Ventura, California on August 16, 2018:

funny, John It’s nice to think of it in funny terms. Perhaps it will keep us sane when we’re face to face with an overmuscled sot.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Glad this brought a smile, Mike. Thanks for reading aand the kind comment.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Sean, you are right. Driving can be an exercise in patience and calm. Maybe good to employ meditation skills to block out other stressful things and irate drivers. High five to Aristophanes.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Thank you for reading this Elijah. My response to irate drivers is usually to just ignore them, concentrate on the road, and continue towards my destination. I am not on the road looking for a confrontation.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Mary, as I live in a rural area I am not fond of having to drive in the bigger cities at all. Even where I live there is often road rage but the cities are even worse. Thanks for reading and commenting.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Wow! Linda, sorry to hear about that extreme road rage you experienced. We also have to reduce speed but by 20km per hour in a school zone. I don't understand how people can ignore that or be angry with anyone else obeying it. I am happy to hear you enjoyed this and could relate.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Glad you are enjoying this series, Eric. Thanks for giving it a name. I agree with that string theory idea too....that is faster than the speed of light.

mckbirdbks from Emerald Wells, Just off the crossroads,Texas on August 16, 2018:

Hi John - Thanks for the smile. You have the cadence done very well here.

Ioannis Arvanitis from Greece, Almyros on August 16, 2018:

Ha! Driving was always a great exercise for being calm despite all those... Ha! Ha! You crafted it very well my brother, very well! I think that my ancestor, Aristophanes, would be proud of you! Your pics ROCK!

Admiration!

Sean

Elijah A Alexander Jr from Washington DC on August 16, 2018:

40 years ago when I was a driver we didn't have near as much as I see these days. The few times I encountered it I just ignored it never thinking to "flip them the bird."

You did the task you set out to do in an interesting poetic read. Thanks for sharing it.

Mary Norton from Ontario, Canada on August 16, 2018:

Driving through Toronto today was quite an experience as people go to work so they were all in a hurry. There were bikers, too. Everything happens fast. A test on one’s patience.

Linda Lum from Washington State, USA on August 16, 2018:

John, I enjoyed this on so many levels. There is place on our Interstate Highway that has been under construction for 10 years, and no end in sight. It's not just a job anymore, it's become a career and road rage doesn't begin to describe the feelings that emerge in that part of the world.

(We have a saying -- "Lead, follow, or get out of the way."

I was the victim of road rage a few years ago when my brand new car had less than 500 miles on the odometer. In my part of the world, we are required to reduce our speed to 20 miles per hour when driving in a school zone. The man behind me was in no mood for obeying the law, zoomed around me and deliberately side-swiped my car for good measure. The look in his eyes was pure evil.

Your muse is doing a wonderful job.

Eric Dierker from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A. on August 16, 2018:

Marvelous. In my mind it is the folks with too much testosterone or estrogen. Macha or Macho.

You remind me of a string theory idea. The shortest possible measurable time is between when the light turns green and the guy in back honks his horn.

I love your "Off The Shelf" series.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

TSAD, thanks for reading and for the great comment. Glad it kept your interest and I guess it could make a reasonable song....not sure about the "N" words though haha. I have actually had two poems recorded as songs, and probably 90% of my poetry rhymes. Cheers.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Shauna, glad you enjoyed this and can relate. people seem to be more impatient about everything these days. Thanks for reading.

The Logician from now on on August 16, 2018:

Very good! Kept my interest cause there are so many ways you could go with this and I wanted to know where you were taking us.

Sounds like good lyrics for a song.. or hip hop? (Like I would know?)

Throw in some N-words and you got gangsta rap....oh I forgot you have to be black to do that.

Anyway John this is the kind of poetry I like, it actually rhymes (-:

Shauna L Bowling from Central Florida on August 16, 2018:

I love this, John! It can be scary on the road these days. In my area, one of the Interstates is being "improved". Of course, this causes problems with closed lanes, construction workers and equipment present, and more drivers than road, or so it seems. Everyone's in a hurry and has no regard for safety or common courtesy. People get pissed off. You never know how some folks will react.

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Hi, Ann. Yes, Ruth Rendell is one of the best in her genre. Glad you liked this poem. Road Rage seems to be getting worse everywhere and people becoming more stressed with their lives in general.

Ann Carr from SW England on August 16, 2018:

Ruth Rendell is a great writer and one of the best at dark mysteries and crime.

This poem is one of the best too. We all feel like this sometimes, as you say, but it's never worth it. I'm usually calm behind the wheel. In England especially it's getting worse every month, as more and more cars come onto already congested streets. The motorways are blocked not just at holiday times now; all the year round it seems there are hold-ups on all of them. We'll all grind to a halt soon!

Well done, John!

Ann

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Thank you for reading, Rinita. Yes, that is certainly one of the advantages of public transport. Avoiding road rage is a wise move.

Rinita Sen on August 16, 2018:

Road rage is the primary reason husband and I do not take the car out unless really needed. We prefer the public transport. Your poem is a well written reminder for most people who cannot behave behind the wheel. Good satire!

John Hansen (author) from Queensland Australia on August 16, 2018:

Hey, Lawrence, great to see you. I love your response to road ragers....a smile and wave. Perfect advice for a bus driver, but I have often used that myself actually.

Congratulations on the promotion to driving a bigger bus, and thank you for reading and commenting. Cheers mate.

Lawrence Hebb from Hamilton, New Zealand on August 16, 2018:

John

Just turned the computer on, saw this and had to read it!

I've got something that's even better than the 'Middle finger'!!

And it's really easy. Nothing winds them up more than a smile and a wave!

I often see people doing silly things on the road, but I have to remember I've got 85 passengers on (they gave me a bigger Bus recently).

Good satire here, and something to think about how we respond.