Rewinding the Cherished Reality Show Audio Tape

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.

Seemed to be caught up in a endless loop

Of my own making it seems to be

Designed myself into an impossible corner

Always kept latching onto the wrong things

Made them more important than they appeared to be

Chose allies and lovers based on their importance

And not their true and deceptive value

Wondered when it would be time to get off

This ridiculous merry go round of nightmares

A ride that no one wants to be on in the slightest

Ready to smack the amusement park attendant

For keeping me on for five minutes too long

Now, locked in a private narrow pathway of tunnel vision

Can't see nothing except a tiny viewpoint

Overlooking the pleasures to the left and right

Just out of focus, until the direction is forcibly changed

Started to panic because unable to adjust the setting

On the mental recording device locked inside

Sweating and shaking begins to set in at worst possible time

Don't understand how things could end up like this

Doctors seemed to push more and more pills to help cope

Not sure if that was truly the answer to the problem

Needed a permanently proper fix

No more band aids to temporarily cover up the symptoms

Searching for some peace and quiet

Unable to find it amongst the chaos closing in

Drowning in a tidal wave of stress and medication

An undercurrent of being a human Jack in the Box

Always bouncing upwards continuously

Never coming back down to rest properly

Hit cruising altitude one too many times

Got repeated motion sickness for the trouble

Could not function on old fashioned solid ground anymore

Made an impulsive decision to saw off this demented spring

Stopped the process in the 11th hour thankfully

When the bouncing finally stopped for once

And reality started to finally set in

Glad that happened: best decision ever made

Now time to work on being on solid footing again

Not a moment too soon

Now, the real work begins....

Need to know if I'm ready for it

Yes, I think I am ready to find a new ride to situate myself on

What the doctor truly ordered.