Rage

Rage

The rage seems to always be there

It never leaves my soul

My heart begins to pound

My body feels the toll

My head fills up with stress abound

and

the voices

start overlaying each other

a madman’s song begins to glee

over and over

if only they knew what I was thinking from time to time

the rage that boils just underneath

the horrific thoughts that race through my mind.

I am a calm person I tell myself,

This isn’t happening to me

And yet the mirror betrays what I see

Inside me pictures of desired violence

Continue to haunt seeking fulfillment

Its not me, it doesn’t make any sense.

All my life I have felt betrayed and alone

The choices I have made and paths chosen

Seem like an echo of hollow moans

The intensity builds

I feel my blood rising

I can’t control it…

And I can’t stop it.

And yet…

I do not wish to act on it.

For now, I will continue to wear the façade,

and try to live a more bit.

I am so ashamed of the phoniness I portray

Sadly,

It is my only salvation for the everyday.

If you or anyone you knows is suffering from depression or suicidal thoughts, you don't have to go it alone. There is help. Please call the National Suicide Prevention hotline.

There is someone waiting to talk to you and hear your worries 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline Call 1-800-273-8255