You may have seen me hanging from the ceiling,
You may have seen me lazing on the wall.
You may have tried your best,
To insult me as a pest
But it is I who knows everything about you all.
There's no one in this world to match my intelligence.
I know what's up, whether it's at home or outdoors.
I have worked as a spy,
With the FBI.
So be careful before you sweep me off the floors.
I'm currently chief advisor to the President.
And I donate all my money to charity.
I have penned a bestseller,
And dated Harry Potter.
And those Prada shoes you have were designed by me.
When you saw me on that desk, meditating.
You may have felt a feeling of disgust.
But I think you do not know,
I was called for The Oprah Show.
And it's not my fault that my coat is full of dust.
You may think of yourself as the next Cleopatra.
But I'm definitely prettier than you.
You'll know, if you look at me
That my face is green, but my eyes are a brilliant blue.
You should serve me with the best of your delicacies,
And ask my permission before entering my room
You should drive me in your car,
Because I'm a superstar.
But all you do is chase me with a broom.
You may curse me when I sleep on your laundry
You may scream your lungs out every time we meet.
But my name is Elizardbeth,
And until my last breath,
I’ll stay in your house and crawl across your feet.
© 2017 Shreya Chadha