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Quarantine Thoughts

Hi! I write poetry, related or not to my life. So enjoy reading!


I envy other people who have good relationships with parents

Some have it easy
While others don't.
That's me.
I'm one of the others.

Tell me,
Does it feel good?
To be able to talk?
And not be scolded at?

For years,
And years,
And years,
I never had opened up.

To other people,
To my parents,

Every morning,
Yelling has to be done.
Used to it,
But not fond of it.

I've been thinking,
Why though?
Why is it that
Opening up is hard?

I envy you people
Who have good relationships
With their parents.
I envy the bond.

I envy deep talks
With the parents.
I wish I could.
But I can't.

At the root of it all
Fear is there.
Sadness is there.
Keeping me close.

Showing affection
Is not in the family.
But somehow,
I wish it was.

Maybe I did had that.
But it all went down the drain
Because of me.

So maybe the root of it all,
is me.

The only feelings
Being shown to me then were

And I hate
That I have adapted to it.
And the things they're doing to me now,
Are the things i'm doing to my brothers.

I hate the influence
Of anger and disappointment
From my parents
Has to me.

If they were to have read this,
They'd probably scoff
And then give me the list
Of everything they have done for us.

I appreciate the things you did.
Just not the ones
Where bad memories
are made.

I envy people who are best friends
With their parents.
I'd want to have that.
I did try to be close.

To make amends.
To want to talk.
But even when I talk or not.
I'd still be wrong.

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