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Punish myself

punish-myself

It's been a while since I saw a rainbow, so have been gloomy for the better bit of the last few weeks.... That part of my head that's supposed to bring out smiles won't even bring out the fake ones ...
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The sky was brown today, that's what my migraines showed me. Didn't even bother watching the sunset cause its really just the same, day in day one.
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The moonlight, I won't even lie, just brings memories I can't handle. But am too bored, too lazy to even swing my blue curtains shut. Feel like am punishing myself for letting you go...
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I closed my eyes momentarily just to remember how you made me feel from the inside. ( crazy thing is I didn't even tell you ) pretty sure I still don't have the words to describe how you made me feel,...
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I think that breeze just blew your perfume my way and know I just wish I had hugged you tighter the last time...
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. this is what I go through every single night. Wishing that the wish fairy wasn't just a fairytale.... Or that genie really existed to take me back to when when everything was just okay..... To when I believed in love.

© 2020 Amani Utembu

Comments

BRENDA ARLEDGE from Washington Court House on October 24, 2020:

Amani,

This one is so touching.

For one to admit he wanted to hold someone & tell her how much she meant but let the time slip away.

Believe in love again. The hurt can bring you down where you never feel like coming up to gasp for air...but hold on.

There is a rainbow waiting for you.

Your eyes will see it before long.

Just Believe!!