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Professional Surgical Patient in the Making

Heather has a Bachelor's Degree in English from Moravian College and has been freelance writing for more than 13 years.

Heard the word cancer for the second time in a year

Heart dropped to the floor and shattered into a million pieces

Have never been the same since the news was revealed

Afraid that normal will never come into the picture again

Wondered when a sliver of peace would come into play

Longed for a centile of a second to just be able to relax

Not have another shoe drop right onto my head

An imaginary piano falling thousands of feet into nothing

Thought that the latest medical test was just a precautionary measure

Not a metaphorical bomb exploding into the oblivion

Joining a vast tribe of women who didn't want to part of this group

Dealing with the diagnosis and unknown variables

Surgery and a double mastectomy to boot

Foundation being destroyed due to high risk

Being rebuilt from the ground up

Not as natural, but hopefully an incredible simulation

Was told by a relative that the man upstairs doesn't put anything in front

That we can't handle; wanted to scream at that sentiment

If this is what makes me special, I want a big fat refund

Beyond upset and disappointed about another medical battle

Told that it was caught very early doesn't make it feel any better

Devastated about another defective body part coming back to haunt me

Detesting the existence of the word cancer and the reality of it

Know that the odds are rather decent

Hoped that I could ask the dealer to swap my deck of cards

For another one with better luck on all fronts

A Gisele with a Tom Brady type sleeping behind her each morning

Instead of a body pillow to prevent moving around after surgery

Pondered whether I'll be the same person when everything is done

Probably not, will have gone through another battle

Somewhat older and maybe just a touch wiser than before

Just a tad though, need to have some innocence in the mix

To keep people guessing.

A dream deck of cards, or just an illusion?

A dream deck of cards, or just an illusion?

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