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Practicing Insanity..and the False Hope That It Will Change

practicing-insanity

The New Persephone~it Is Winter after all

Yes, that's riiight. You don't know or you don't remember. Deny or lie, never the reason why. What was it you said so long ago..never give the indiction that you are being less than honest? Never let them think you have ever lied? Afraid of that can of worms you spend your life entire concealing?

What's the point of that? You deny feeling

Be patient calm wait for it

that bomb you planted, set to detonate

as soon as we're in a crowded situate.

Now you won't have to substantiate

how extreme ! fluctuate

Slow realization of this pattern

I couldn't see it because you seem

so concerned and so supportive

So while people are looking

I'd better make the call

so I can call your bluff

You'll hesitate to stall

If it's for the benefit of all

To see.

And so ingrained, so intrained is

this way of being

you can't be certain of what

you're seeing until it's too late

And you've seen the warning

And heed it not

Don't take my word for it

Though-keep believing without seeing

Keep a foot on me cause I have no validity

When you draw the worst outta me

On purpose-it dawns on me

Keep me in suspense,

Knowing you're hurting me

And wonder why i'm tense

You gotta ask me that twice?

If I should happen to chance

and win-would I do the right thing?

YOU HAVENT BEEN PAYING ATTENTION AT ALL,

HAVE YOU????

Go ahead, ask me again..

Go ahead, I said

What do you fear?

After everything and all this time...

How dare you, wow really?

Oh ya mean like when I already have,

Didn't I? Didn't I?

Oh yeah-someone says

yeah that's what they were

gonna do-do-da-do but when it came time,

figure out a reason to not hand over a dime,

which is fine, motherfucker.

I never asked for it in the first place-

you offered, then reneged.

There's a term people use for that action--huh?

I'm surprised you would do that to your people,

then again-par for the course.

Whittle your kind down,

you'll for certain do the same to me.

Trial. Jury. Lousy company.

Twice. That's 2 times on 2 different occasions. Third time now would be on me. I just had to get confirmation on your game-this is your m.o. and the way you don't do a thing.

So used to lyin' you're not even tryin'

Your actions transparent,

when you're obviously apparent

and flex in stability.

Can't possibly be circumstance, now how could it?

must be inside me,

You can't hear the truth

to set you free.

"Don't worry about it"?

Trick, that's all I do.

You are SERIOUSLY GRIEVING ME

Your clot is so thick

You don't even consider

couldn't give a lick

the pill you're giving me really is bitter

and I'm far better suited

to be somewhere rooted.

Idle hands make the devil's plans

Took care o' me alright

Straight jacketed without the mental

Gonna count to 3, hope I see all of me

You grasp not the brevity of the situation

make me wait to anticipate

a move you'll never make

soon to be a moot point

as I tighten this loose joint

and give you back the hell

you so quickly wished upon me

tell me another story

tighten the noose for me

After all, we're hardly much to sacrifice

No one gonna miss us

Because we pay the price.

It just gets better and better

As this room resume to consume

The plume of cold sweat - no ventilation

Just aggravation and justification

while so brazen and cavelier

you should be raising the chandelier

Like I say, you're killing me sloppily

Gotta clean up the mess of stress

so easily avoided

but oh no!

I have been be-?/#%^ed.

And left to figure it out myself.

Now that someone's looking sure

you are more than happy to play

your part, on the surface

everything fine.

Of course you are always sweet and nice

(but your veins must run cold with ice)

But more damage has been done to me

with a smile so sweetfully

Don't you see?

How far you flung me into sea

middle of nowhere, no where to be found

won't give up this road 'til I stand on solid ground.

You've floundered upon your foundation

so everything you build upon wont be

moulded upon cemetation.

Foole. If you believe you'll be given

what's yours and yours alone

Ask me what I think "well Caesar

don't you remember?

the lengths they've gone to keep you here

ya think they'll figure out a reason

to keep you addle, treat you like a child

acclimate to your sense of guilt

and use you up and then say

you're not fit to handle your own affairs.

Riiight, all that talking down to you,

like you don't know what to do

pays off in the end for them

when they carry off your wealth and your health.

or it least the ability and space to create it,

call you the new Persephone.

Fuck with your livilihood here, hey it's okay!

No one's a boy scout, not even a plan, man!

Don't look at me when it blows up in our face

what we gonna do when we gotta leave this place?

Just keep hoping something will fall into your lap

Your faith is commendable but falls short of common sense

and we're getting too old to be straddling the fence.

No one's gonna rescue you

no one gonna come to your defense

How do I know? "Pinch me!

Nope! Didn't feel a thang!"

Thumb on you, thumb on me

shame on you shame on me

we have got to have some

responsibility-or in this life

we'll never be fuckin' free

to buy your choice and live

your life the way it's meant to be

and not some band-aid that chokes the air

out of you instead of letting it breathe

I don't believe you really want the best for me, lest we

else you'd wake up and smell the mud that smudges

your guts and wears you down

and can't even judge it correctly,

Aaah I see your country right or wrong

can't argue with that pretzel logic

it's twisted fragmented loyalty

to a cause no longer meant to be

a distribution of what remains

if you're so worried you'd plan for it

someon'e's been lyin' to you

or hopefully for you, it's just to me

Which I get that, no prob.

I wasn't even probing

you offered up that info

perhaps pre-emptively

seem to be a tell is all

go on, who's the enemy?

Careful Caesar,

someone gonna try and seize your palace

again don't look my way it ain't me"

I've honed the ability to look at it objectively,

I've had to do it even in my own family.

Oh great! now I've just crucified me,

I did it, I broke the damn

(so levy the dike, dammit)

I'll take responsibility, cause I know who I am

Or at least I should

but I'll get down off the cross now

because they need the wood.










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