Pondering on Generations: Things I Find Toxic
Be Warned: Some may be triggering.
Breaking Down Toxic Traditions.
Generations are totally different.
If you're living by 1900s,
It's totally different now.
Stop comparing your time to ours.
Cause it's never the same.
But that's not my point.
One of the most toxic culture,
is Verbal Abuse.
What you say to your child,
can affect their development.
If you grow up with parents,
that always make you feel like,
You are a failure,
What you do will never be enough,
They'd always compare you to other kids,
Like you're alone,
you're not needed nor wanted,
your voice and opinion won't always matter,
If you always feel disregarded,
If they make you feel not a child but a servant,
and those words they tell you to be so afraid to explore the world,
It's time to break it.
Remember, what you do to your child now,
Expect them to do the same when you get needy and old.
If you want to keep shouting at them,
whenever you can't handle your temper,
Keep in mind, they'll do the same with you.
What they see and what you teach them will soon manifest.
Make sure you don't follow the footsteps of a person you don't aspire to be.
Another toxic culture is that,
One requires you to follow a certain timeline in life.
After birth, you'll be eventually introduced to school,
after graduating, you must find a job,
after finding a stable job,
you must get married,
after getting married, you must have kids.
If you aren't able to have a degree,
have a stable job,
get married by a certain age,
have kids,
people starts questioning your life decisions.
Like, it's a waste why didn't you pursue it?
Why did you stop?
Why did you quit?
Why don't you wanna get married?
You're already old, why don't you have kids yet?
In some older generations,
people who breaks the status quo,
or doesn't follow the usual pattern of what seems to be the norm,
they find it strange and weird.
Because, they aren't used to it.
Like that's how life is supposed to be,
Why would you go with something that's unusual?
For some, people won't even do gentle parenting.
Because, the moment they have their own family,
It is very much likely that they just follow what their parents did to them.
Worse case is that if they try to change their ways,
their parents will call them out for changing the style of parenting.
Doesn't mean you've been doing it already for years, means it's right.
You also have to adapt to the changes.
How can you say what's the right way of taking good care of a child,
when you already failed?
Let's also stop putting pressure to others.
Neither shaming them in all possible ways.
If you want to boost their confidence,
don't be the core reason they lose it.
If they are trying to say something to you,
but doesn't have the courage to do so,
Have patience and don't make fun of it.
Like mimicking how messed up their voice could be.
Imagine if you grow old and you stutter,
and they make fun of how you speak,
How would you feel?
and what if they really can't speak properly even if they try?
that they lose their voice in the midst of trying?
Not all the time you can speak fluently and clearly.
Stop body shaming yourself and your child.
Looking down on yourself a number of times can reflect to your child.
Not everyone can be a standard model figure anyway.
The one that's slim, lots of curves, head turner,
We all have our differences.
It's not right to say,
Like after not seeing each other for a long time,
"Oh, you gained weight!"
"you seem to be losing weight, are you sick?"
Also, through pictures.
If you don't wanna see yourself having a photo that you don't like,
Maybe because you have double/triple chin,
the angle isn't right,
your huge belly shows,
but you post a photo of your child with the same conditions above,
Wouldn't that be unfair?
You don't wanna embarrass yourself to the public,
but you can do it to your child?
That's cyber bullying.
Let's respect one another.
Don't go shaming someone of whatever age,
Just because you feel entitled.
Thinking it's alright she/he won't get mad,
But you already know, if it was the other way around
You'd get furious.
Teach your kids the right way.
Don't go giving mixed signals.
Like asking them to go study already,
then the next minute,
You'd ask them to wash the dishes.
Like can you not?
Make up your mind if you would.
Or like asking them to go to sleep,
but there you go asking them questions.
In a loud manner as if you're ten blocks away, when it's just three steps.
Seriously?
Asking a child to sleep, but you'll bug them with your loud noises.
And then you go asking them,
"Didn't I tell you to sleep already?"
Yeah if you would stop having encores.
Recommended
Even up to this day,
I never get to understand what study well means.
How do you even study properly?
What does studying well like?
Reading all books and trying to put it all in your head?
Writing all things that's need to be noted?
Acing all exams, tests, projects, activities?
then what, if I failed to do so then does it mean I'm not doing it well?
Does getting a college degree really meant you have done your part to study well?
Even if you have finished college,
There will still be a lot of things that is yet to learn about.
And it is not guaranteed that everything you learn from school will retain in your memory.
So, how can we say that we are studying well?
Like what they asked us to do.
Let us not disregard our mental health and what our body needs.
Just for the sake we do our parts to study properly.
And let us not forget to still enjoy life while we're at it.
Don't risk your health just to maintain the scholarship, being on dean's list, and sacrificing your sleep.
But at the end of it,
I still wouldn't know what 'study well' means.
I wish studying well also applies to relationships,
You are willing to do some research,a
and get to know more about the person,
So that, if something is wrong you'd know right away.
And it would prevent couples from hurting one another.
Or even within the household.
Learn to be a safe space.
A helping hand.
A shoulder to cry on.
A person to give warm hugs.
Someone to listen to your rants.
A friend that's always there.
No matter what generation you are in.
Be that person.
You'd want a child to lean onto.
You'd want an elderly to trust it's life with.
Because, violence and abuse of all forms,
will benefit no one.
And it's sad when you're about to lose it,
but no one is coming to visit you.
Or even reach out to see how you've been doing,
No matter how sorry you could be,
the scar will always be there.
So, if you don't want younger generations to resent you,
start making changes and amendments now.
you can break the chain or pass it on.
the choice is yours.
but if you don't want to be the person you used to hate;
it should start within yourself.
let what has made you suffer ends with you.
and be better to those that'll need you.
Disclaimer: This doesn't pertain to all but if you know someone, sorry if this has offended your beliefs in some ways. But maybe that's just your guilt not mine.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2022 Gianella Labrador
