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Poems and Proses by Briavry (PART 5)

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END OF OURS

Maybe, I can't say right now that you are not my loss.


What I can tell you now is that I'm happy without you.


That I am more comfortable and contented in my life without you.


And I'm relieved that you do not belong to my life any longer.


Maybe, this is how it should be.


We must face the end of ours.

CAN'T BE MYSELF

Why couldn't I be myself when I was with you?

Do you even realize that every time you were teaching and dictating to me what to do or what I should do?

I get so pressured by you making me do things that I knew I wouldn't be me if I did.

I feel like burning each time I get to think I was just there to comply with your rules and follow your words.

But you said that you were helping and you would like to show your concern when I knew that the fact is that something was not right anymore.

Was controlling me making you happy?

Maybe I would see the good intention if you did not humiliate me in public and not make me feel embarrassed in front of people.

But at least you did something for me.

That's why I thanked you. I still thanked you for it all.

I only wish that I felt respected as I do to you.

Because I never judge you no matter who you are and what you do.

Maybe, that's the reason why I left.

Because you don't want me for who I am. You only want to have me for who you want me to be or maybe, who I might become.

BETTER THIS WAY

I don't hold any anger in my chest.


I know it's unnecessary, and I don't want to double the damage it brought to me.


I am still thankful and happy because what you did is taught me a lesson to stand up for myself.


It taught me to stay being myself no matter what people say about it and still be myself no matter what happens because I know how important that is.


Because staying away from your true self is like hiding from the darkest place that no one could ever see you and rescue you.


I know that it's only I who could rescue myself in that dark place.


Being away from my true self is like a pain that's never going away unless I rescue myself.


That's why I know I should leave.


I must not take it longer.


It is better this way.


© 2021 Briavry

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